


I'm Writing This Letter and Wishing You Well

by sniffmefather



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Friends to Lovers, Gay Keith (Voltron), Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Keith and Shiro are Siblings, Keith likes knives, M/M, No Smut, POV Third Person, Protective Shiro (Voltron), but in keiths perspective, but it happens, hot cheetos make keith nut, keith believes in aliens, keith doesnt fucking eat, lance comes later ;), matt is the god of ddr, my writing gets a little better, not a lot, pidge hunk and keith are friends, summary doesnt really match up, this is practically a crackfic sorry, this isnt a crackfic i just cant take anything seriously, we're going with it, whatever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-24
Updated: 2018-06-17
Packaged: 2019-04-07 05:55:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 25,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14074353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sniffmefather/pseuds/sniffmefather
Summary: Keith's literacy teacher suggests they get pen pals as a fun activityKeith isn't very fond of peopleHe is paired up with Lance, a boy from Cuba who he finds to be quite charmingWill Keith confess his gay love for the boy he's never met in real life?(hi i suck at summaries)





	1. The Semi-Intelligent Bimbo

**Author's Note:**

> hi this is my first fic
> 
> i don't think i'll have a definite updating schedule
> 
> happy reading!
> 
> edit: um hi thanks for dropping in, i just want to say i'm incredibly sorry for how bad it is. i'm working on a oneshot even tho everyone hates voltron but i also wanted to say thank you for so many reads !!! it makes me happy to see people enjoying it :)

“I think it would be nice.”

Keith looked up from his notebook to stare at his teacher. The bimbo suggested they get “pen pals” as a fun activity. Keith rolled his eyes.

“Any suggestions on where we should write to?”

“France!”

“Mexico!”

“Mother Russia!”

More kids shouted countries or states.

“How about fucking Cuba,” Keith muttered under his breath. It got the attention of the teacher quick.

“What was that Keith?” She asked as she leaned in.

Keith was mildly embarrassed.

“I say we try Cuba,” he stated more confidently.

The teacher straightened her back and rubbed her caked chin. As she contemplated on how to spell “Cuba”, some kids continued to yell. She stopped smudging her awful makeup job.

“Cuba it is!”

The reaction was mixed, as was their reaction to everything. The teacher clapped her hands twice and everyone went quiet.

“Starting next week, we will spend all of the class time writing to our pen pals. Tomorrow, however, will be spent choosing your pen pals.”

To say the class was excited was an understatement. The prospect of actually choosing your partner was thrilling. As the class erupted into chaos, the bell rang.

“Please don’t forget to do your ho- Keith!”

Keith rushed out of the classroom to make it to lunch. If he had to breathe in the same proximity as that nitwit he was going to go insane.

 

\--

 

Keith was never good in social situations.

Making his way to the lunch line was a job in itself, but this being an American school, kids try to strike up a conversation.

“Are you okay? You look tired.”

“Why don’t you ever talk in class?”

“You won’t believe what my mom did last night.”

“Why do you have a mullet?”

Keith tried to avoid it, really he did. With his mullet and bracelets with angry bands on them, he was certain that the kids would just leave him alone and let him enjoy his lunch. But sadly, that was never the case.

After skillfully avoiding any and all contact with the others, he sped off to the library. Ms. Reese didn’t mind Keith, and on most days didn’t look up from her computer. It was a common sight to see her mouth agape and eyes glazed over. It added to the general creepy-ness that the library already holds.

Keith made his way over to the farthest table and began to eat.

“To call this food would make Gordon Ramsay burst into tears,” he spoke with disdain. After taking two bites he stopped and shoved the tray away. The bell was about to ring soon. He gathered his stuff along with his tray and left without another word.

 

\--

 

His last class of the day was, unfortunately, chemistry. The one true class that tests his patience.

His partner was Lotor, only the most self-centered guy in school. It never failed to anger Keith when no one commented on the fact that his hair was longer than his, and yet no one commented on it.

“Hey, Lotor, Lotor. Stop looking at that damn mirror and listen to me.”

“Hm? Oh sorry, I couldn’t hear you over your horrible fashion sense.”

Keith couldn’t help but roll his eyes. Who else to comment on his appearance than Loturd?

“If we wanna get this done today, I suggest you put the fucking extensions down and turn on the burner.”

Keith expected Lotor to scoff and make a comment about peasants, or whatever he feels might actually affect him.

 

\--

 

The class passed slowly, with only one student getting burned. For once, Keith wasn’t pissed off at this class.

Chemistry was coming to a close and Keith was packing up. He wanted to go home and curl into a ball under his mound of blankets.

As soon as the bell rang all the students acted like it was Mario Kart and made a break for it. Keith ended up trying to locate his brother, Shiro.

 

\--

 

Keith did not find Shiro.

After having exactly 2.3 panic attacks, he headed home, only to find his brother in the kitchen doing homework.

“You almost gave me a heart attack!”

“You didn’t get my message?”

“I keep my phone off at school asshole.”

He plopped down to the right of Shiro and pulled out his homework. They sat in comfortable silence for a while, before Shiro abruptly cut it short.

“That Lotor guy still giving you shit?”

Keith looked up and shrugged his shoulders.

“As long as he isn’t saying anything that actually hurts me, it’s okay.”

Shiro nodded and said, “Alright, but if I find out what an asshat he’s being to you, I’ll tell the cheerleaders and they’ll make sure he doesn’t get a date for the rest of his high school career.”

Keith chuckled a bit before saying, “Thanks, man.”

“Anytime, anytime.”

 

\--

 

They got done with their homework at around 9. The boys clambered up the steps to their rooms.

“Goodnight, Keith.”

“Night, Shiro.”

Keith shut the door and continued to put on his pajamas. He shut off the light and curled up in his bed.

“Goodnight aliens.”


	2. Lotor is not on Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi
> 
> i got impatient so i wrote some more

The challenge for today was getting to school.

It rained heavily last night, and it’s continued on all morning.

Keith and Shiro have to walk to school, so they were more than a little peeved.

Arriving at school on time was also a challenge.

The roads and sidewalks were slick and with the heavy rainfall, it made it difficult to see.

“Why didn’t you get us umbrellas?” Keith asked with a glare.

“It hardly rains here and besides,” he looked at Keith, “you told me not to get any.”

Oh yeah. Keith thought.

Keith just sighed and continued walking, albeit slowly. He couldn’t help but scold his past self for being so naive.

“I’m gonna be soaking wet all day and it’s all because you listened to me,” Keith spoke with noticeable anger in his tone.

Shiro could only sigh and shake his head as they both strode towards the school.

“The day’s not over yet. Maybe it’ll be nice for a change?” Shiro spoke hopefully, glancing at Keith

“Maybe, but not likely,” Keith answered back.

 

\--

 

“It has come to my attention that one of you has hurt another student.”

Keith walked in to find the teacher speaking to the class. Thankfully, the air-head doesn’t give out detentions and didn’t seem to notice him coming in late.

“Unless the perpetrator wants to come forward, then you all won’t be choosing who you write to.”

The class erupted into groans. The only reason as to why we were remotely excited was because we got to do something we haven’t done since the fifth grade.

“I have the names here, and I’ll be choosing at random. You don’t get to complain about who you get, alright?”

The teens slumped in their chairs. The fun of the activity was quickly ripped from them, something that has happened time and time again in their high school career.

As the teacher called out names, the students started to converse with each other.

Keith slumped farther into his seat and stared at the ceiling, willing the class to go by faster.

“This is bull shit, don’t ya think?”

Keith sat up with a start and looked to his left. He was greeted with orange and green clashing. It was a nice mix, surprisingly.

“Um. Yeah, I suppose,” Keith spoke with uncertainty.

“You must be Keith, I’m Pidge.”

Pidge stuck out (her?) hand and smiled slightly. Keith shook it reluctantly. Pidge didn’t seem mean and didn’t ask why Keith had a mullet. It was a nice change.

“I’m in your chem class. You got Lotor as a partner?”

“Yeah.”

“That sucks. Sorry man.”

As the class continued, Pidge and Keith carried on a conversation. With Pidge doing most of the talking, while Keith kept silently worrying if they were just being nice since the seat next to them was empty.

“Keith?”

Keith looked over at the bimbo and nodded.

“You’ll be paired up wiiiiiiiiiiiith, Lance.”

_Lance, eh? What a dumb name._

The teacher kept shouting names, and Keith asked the question he had been dying to know since meeting Pidge.

“Soooo, what are your pronouns? I can’t really tell from your appearance,” Keith scratched the back of his nape in embarrassment.

“Oh, they/them. I’m nonbinary,” Pidge said, completely unfazed.

“Alright, cool.”

As Pidge droned on about their other friend, Hunk, and how they should all meet up, Keith looked over at the clock. The bell was about to ring.

“Ah, the bell,” Pidge said, reaching for their bag. “Can I have your number, so we can talk more? You’re one of the few people here that I can admit that I like.”

Keith was astonished, to put it lightly. Someone, _asking_ , for his number. Not out of sympathy, but because they _genuinely liked him._

“Uh yeah, I’ll write it down.”

Just as he was finished writing it down, the bell rang. He handed the slip of paper to Pidge and stood up. Pidge was leaving and turned before saying,

“See ya later, Emo Boy.”

 

\--

  
Pidge caught him at lunch. He was getting a hamburger (?) before they ran up to him.

“Hey. My friend Hunk’s here, and he wants to meet you. Wanna eat with us?”

Keith could only shake his head, as he was still surprised that people want to hang out with him.

“Great, now hurry up. You’re holding up the line.”

He looked back and saw some very annoyed people. He quickly apologized before grabbing some sides and following Pidge. When he arrived at the table, he was greeted by a tall man ready to shake his hand.

“Hey, I’m Hunk. Pidge, he doesn’t look that emo,” He looked over at Pidge after shaking Keith’s hand.

“But look at those bands! MCR, Panic! At the Disco, he even has Taking Back Sunday,” they said, holding up Keith’s wrist.

Hunk shook his head and began eating. Keith looked down at his “food”. He ate his fries and shoved his tray towards Hunk, who took it gladly. He engaged in light conversation with the others at the table. He looked at the clock and excused himself since his next class was p.e. and it was on the other side of campus. Hunk and Pidge continued talking, while he left.

_Would they be considered friends?_

Keith shook his head smiling. They only talked for one day and he’s already getting attached.

Pathetic.

 

\--

 

Chemistry with Lotor could only be described as interesting.

They were working with bunsen burners again, which meant that Lotor was supposed to get the burner ready while Keith read over the directions.

“And then we take- Lotor what the fuck are you doing.”

The man in question was swaying his hips slightly as if dancing to a tune that Keith couldn’t hear.

“That song, oh I forget the name of it, but it’s amazing. It’s been stuck in my head all day.”

“Stop before you knock something over. I don’t want my shoes getting melted.”

He went back to mixing the chemicals, with the teacher coming by a few times just to see how they were doing.

“Keith, that’s the wrong one.”

Keith stopped and turned his head ever so slowly towards Lotor. He had enough of his shit today and he was close to shoving his face on the burner.

“It’s blue. What the fuck is it supposed to look like.”

“It’s green, you insufferable brat. Since you are obviously incapable of comprehending that, I’ll get it myself.”

He started to reach for the green liquid, but Keith stopped him.

“You’re right, but you’re reaching close around the burner. At least tie your hair back.”

Lotor rolled his eyes.

“Honestly, Keith, you shouldn’t be so worr- uh, AH, AHHHHHHHHHH!”

Lotor’s hair caught on fire. Keith could only stare in shock as this poor excuse for a person was on fire. The fire alarm went off and everyone rushed out the door. The bell rang, and most of the kids who were outside decided to book it. Keith being one of those people. As he was making his way home, Shiro jogged up to him.

“Yeah you can leave me, that’s fine.”

Keith slowed down and looked at his older brother. He squinted his eyes and spoke with disdain.

“Yeah you can come home and not tell me, that’s fine.”

“I told you I sent you a text. Are you seriously still mad about it?”

“No. But you’re bringing up something irrelevant, and I didn’t wanna bring up Ricegum again.”

Shiro shook his head and sighed as he unlocked their door.

“And besides, there might be people reading this that like Ricegum.”

“Reading what?”

“Nevermind, I’m going to bed.”

“Be sure to tell the aliens goodnight!”

Keith slammed his door. How dare his brother mock what he can’t understand!

He looked out the window and gazed up at the stars.

“I know you’re real. Shiro can suck my cock.”

He pulled himself away from the window to undress. He opted for just a t-shirt and boxers, as the houses’ ac wasn’t working. He climbed on his bed after shutting off the lights and recounted the events of today.

_I made friends and Lotor got his hair sat on fire_

He glanced at his door.

“Guess you were right, Shiro,” he said sleepily as he rolled over and shut his eyes.

“Today wasn’t all that bad.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it didn't hit me until now but over 100 reads?
> 
> seriously??
> 
> omg i actually cant. thank you all for reading, you have no idea how happy this makes me
> 
> thank you all for existing!!


	3. Keith's Illiterate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uuuuuuuhhhhh yeah sorry i cant help myself
> 
> i wouldnt get used to me updating like every day
> 
> cuz no doubt writers block will hmu and fuck me more than the government

“How the fuck do you spell quiche?”

Pidge looked up and raised their eyebrow.

“Are you serious? You can spell convalesce, but not 'quiche'? What are you asking him anyways?”

Keith looked down and in a quiet voice he whispered, “Do you think aliens like quiche?”

Pidge just stared for a moment and went back to writing. They started writing to their pals today and Keith was having trouble. He didn’t want to ask something generic, like what his favorite color was, or if he was into True Crime. He wanted to get straight to the point.

The moron was walking around asking how everything’s going, and Keith was worried.

_She’ll think I’m crazy._

The moron finally made her rounds and strode up to Keith’s desk.

“Are you excited to write to Lance?”

Keith looked up and nearly puked. Her foundation was two shades darker than what it needed to be, and she couldn’t even blend it down her neck. Fuckin’ nasty.

“I-uh, yeah.”

Teachers make Keith nervous, but then again everyone makes Keith nervous.

Pidge couldn’t help but chuckle at Keith’s face. Keith turned to look at them and was about to scold them, but the teacher chose that exact moment to speak.

“Alright, class. Start wrapping it up. The bell’s gonna ring soon.”

The kids started rustling their bags before she added,

“And another thing, I won’t be here tomorrow. So you’ll have a substitute.”

Before the class could shove each other out the door in a rush to eat lunch, the teacher said something that made Keith’s blood run cold.

“I’ll be looking at your letters when I get back, so take them home and finish them or change a few things if ya know what I mean,” she raised her brows and looked at a few kids. “Have a good day!”

 

\--

 

“You looked like you wanted to cry when the teach said she was gonna check our letters,” Pidge said as they took a sip of their soda. Keith lowered his hand from his mouth.

“I asked how big his dick is.”

Hunk spit out his food. Pidge smiled.

“What are you, fucking gay?”

“First of all, yes. Secondly, don’t use that against an iDubbbz fan you fucking air-head.”

Pidge just smirked and went back to eating. Lunch was almost over before they said anything.

“So, your little gay heart couldn’t help but ask?”

“I’m taller than you, you hobbit. And, I need to know what I’m dealing with,” he spoke as he shrugged his shoulders. “You can tell a lot about a guy by their dick size.”

“Not true,” Hunk intervened, blushing furiously.

“Whatever man. I gotta run. Coach was pissed that I came in late yesterday.”

“See ya, fellow queer.”

 

\--

 

“Sorry, Keith. You’ll have to be by yourself until Lotor comes back to school.”

_Thank the gods._

“Oh. That’s okay. I’m sure I can manage.”

_I can finally get my grades up._

“Uuuhhhhhhh Keith can chill with us until he comes back.”

Keith whirled his head around only to see Pidge in goggles and oversized gloves.

“If Keith wants to, then by all means, go ahead,” the teacher said as he walked away. Pidge was furiously waving him over, and Keith knew he couldn’t get out of this.

“Alright, what’s the plan?”

“You’re here for not even five seconds and you already assume I’m up to something.”

Keith couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Sorry, but what am I _actually_ doing over here?” He asked jutting his hip slightly.

“My partner doesn’t do shit. And I thought you would get lonely.”

Keith looked over at Pidge’s partner. She was talking with a few other kids and laughing loudly to the point where it was just straight up obnoxious.

“Sorry to hear that. What do you need me to do?”

“I’ll get the chemicals, you get the equipment.”

Working with Pidge was more comfortable than he imagined. They cracked jokes with one another and managed to complete their work with no mishaps.

“Hunk was telling me how he got switched to a computer class.”

“Mrs. Mary?”

“Yeah! Do you have her too?”

Keith got a schedule change while in math. It was a nice distraction from whatever it was they were doing in there. Keith was pretty happy with the change since he was uncomfortable changing in front of others. P.e. was never his forte anyways.

They exchanged in light-hearted banter until the bell rang.

“Catch ya later, Skater Boy,” Pidge said giving Keith a light punch to his shoulder.

“See ya kid.”

 

\--

 

“So, my little bro finally has friends.”

Keith stopped from taking his shoes off at the doorway and turned toward his brother.

“I swear to god if you meet them and interrogate them I’ll tell the whole school you wet the bed until you were 8.”

Shiro put his hand to his heart in mock shock.

“Just for that, you won’t be getting any macaroni!”

“Now Shiro, wait-“


	4. Shiro, the Strong Boi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao sorry it hasn’t been proofread since I wrote this in my phone 
> 
> I’ll proofread it tomorrow

Keith despised the substitute.

He would take the monkey disguised in makeup any day over this. 

His day started fine, with Shiro waking him up and Keith helping with breakfast. He got to school on time, and with a full stomach. But then walked in Mr. G.

His name is Mr. Gabrielle, but he goes by Mr. G. He’s short, fat, and had a combover that makes the principle look good. When first meeting Mr. G, you are hit with the putrid smell of cheap cologne. The man practically bathes in it. He has the voice of a smoker, despite threatening to call the FBI if he catches a senior smoking outside of school grounds.

But enough of his appearance or how it sounds.

Let's get to how he acts.

Waking into that classroom on that fine Thursday morning could only be described as walking into the fiery pits of hell.

“YOU’RE **_SOPHOMORES._ ** HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT THIS IS????”

Keith could only stare in confusion as Mr. G went on to rant about whatever it is that set him off this time. Keith looked over only to find Pidge staring back, mouthing the words, “what the fuck?”

Keith chuckled and was met with Mr. G’s hot breath. Keith shrunk back and slouched slightly, not going unnoticed by Mr. G.

“So, looks like we gotta _baby_ on our hands.”

Keith grew more and more angry at the sight of Mr. G. He met him when he was a freshman and through his years he’s never met someone that pisses him off more than the man in front of him.

Mr. G finally backed away and turned toward the board. If Keith could just last another five minutes, he could leave and eat lunch with his fellow queers. Mr. G continued to write incoherent words on the board until the unmistakable ring of the bell sounded through the room. As students rushed to get out the door, Mr. G stopped and yelled,

“The bell doesn’t dismiss you! _I_ do.”

The students groaned in unison and returned to their seats.

After waiting for the next eternity, he finally dismissed everyone.

 

\--

 

“And don’t even get me _started_ on his breath!”

“Keith, you haven’t even looked at your food. You weigh two pounds and I’m not gonna be held responsible when your brother comes and beats me for it.”

Keith stopped mid-sentence to stare at Hunk. He and Pidge have this crazy idea that he doesn’t eat, when in fact he just doesn’t eat lunch.

“Keith I swear to whatever is up there if you don’t at least drink your fucking milk I will shove it up your ass,” Pidge said gesturing towards his milk.

In fear of having cardboard up his arse, Keith took a cautious sip of his milk.

“Since you don’t have p.e. anymore, we can walk together to tech,” Hunk said, finishing off his “food”.

“Yeah, man.”

 

\--

 

Chemistry just wasn’t the same without Lotor.

Don’t get Keith wrong, it was more enjoyable without him and with a friend, but a part of Keith missed the way Lotor just knew what to say to get under Keith’s skin.

But not really.

It was nice coming into the class without having to reign in his anger, but he was sure that when he was back he would have to train himself all over again to only stick to harsh words and not harsh actions.

He sighed, thinking about how much effort he truly uses when dealing with people.

Pidge was sent home early since they got sick during health.

“I hear Lotor’s coming back tomorrow, and he’s not exactly happy with you.”

Keith whipped his head around so fast he almost knocked over his chemicals.

“I’d be careful, emo boy,” the girl said ruffling his hair and walking away.

As Keith was mixing chemicals, his mind kept drifting to what that girl was saying. By the tone of her voice, she wasn’t taunting, but just giving a warning.

Assuming Lotor _was_ coming back tomorrow, that meant he was back in town. So yeah, Keith really needed to be careful.

 

\--

 

“We need to go to the store.”

Keith looked up a Shiro and nodded.

“Yeah, we didn’t really have anything to work with this morning.”

“Great. I was worried you would get pissed.”

The store they went to wasn’t too far from their house. Shiro having the better memory of the two, he went to get the food while Keith stayed outside. He was so caught up in thought he didn’t notice Lotor walking towards him.

“Ah, shit! Hey Lotor, how’s it goin’ man? Sorry for that fire incident, but it’s good you-“

Keith didn’t get to finish his sentence because, at that exact moment, Lotor fucking decked him.

“What the fuck?!”

Keith looked up at Shiro, holding grocery bags.

“Get the hell away from him, you prick!”

He started advancing towards Lotor, but he got the hint and ran.

Shiro jogged towards Keith and picked him up.

“Put me down, I’m not helpless.”

“I know, but I don’t want you injuring yourself further.”

Keith huffed in annoyance. The only good thing about this is that Shiro will force Keith into staying home tomorrow.

 

\--

 

“Shiro! Stop fucking touching me, I’m fine.”

“You need bandages!”

“Fuck the bandages, let me sleep.”

Shiro sighed and stood up. He walked towards the door and shut off the light. Before walking away, he turned towards Keith.

“Tell the aliens hi for me?”

**_“Shiro I swear to fuck!”_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk how to write fight scenes sorry
> 
> edit: i proofread it enjoy


	5. Keith sets his Kitchen on Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao i proofread the last chapter so uh yeah
> 
> uuuuuuuhhhhhhhh 
> 
> atm i wont be able to update everyday, since i gotta lot of projects i need to do for school
> 
> the updates will still be frequent, just not as frequent

_Pidgeon:_  
_We finna get caught_

_Keith:_   
_Don’t ever say finna again_

Keith was forced to stay home. In case you missed it, Keith was decked by Lotor last night. Shiro being the strong boye he is, carried him home and pissed Keith off to no end.

Anyways.

Pidge kept texting in class. The teacher didn’t really care, but still, Keith didn’t want to see one of his only friends get detention. So, like the sensible guy he is kept texting back.

 _Pidgeon_ :  
 _If you believe in aliens, then does that mean you think the moon landing was fake?_

Keith was about to throw his phone across the room and burn it with acid.

_Keith:_   
_There’s not a fucking moon you dweeb_

_Pidgeon:_   
_Dweeb? That’s a new one_

Keith could practically feel the smug dripping from his phone. How Hunk could put up with them, he didn’t know.

_Pidgeon:_   
_Gotta pay attention now. Teacher says it’ll be on the test. I’ll take notes for ya_

_Keith:_   
_Alright. See ya kid_

Keith couldn’t help but smile. Pidge was one of the few people who could keep him grounded.

 

\--

 

Keith was bored.

It seemed like a good idea, watching conspiracy theories and walking around with just his boxers on.

But at one point you get tired of it, ya know?

He was waiting for Shiro to get home when he got a message.

_Shiro:_   
_I’m gonna be kinda late. I’m chillin’ with the boyz_

Keith didn’t even want to respond.

_Keith:_   
_Please stop whatever you’re doing and shoot yourself_

_Shiro:_   
_I’m never making you macaroni again_

_Keith:_   
_That's a damn lie and you know it_

Keith sat down his phone and turned to the tv. He turned it off and went to the kitchen. He was somewhat hungry, and what better way to sate his hunger than cereal?

Keith wasn’t good at cooking, so it only made sense.

 

\--

 

_It’s on fire._

**_The kitchen. Is on fire._ **

The fire alarm was going off as Keith just stood there, staring.

How could he, a boy who couldn’t even turn the stove on, set the fucking kitchen on fire trying to make cereal.

He continued to stare as Shiro rushed in. He looked from Keith to the fire and _zoomed_ to put it out.

Keith continued to stare as Shiro successfully put it out.

“Keith? Hey, Keith? C’mon man, don’t tell me you’re dead.”

Keith snapped out of his trance and stared at the burn marks on the counter.

“Did you try to cook something? Don’t tell me you took that threat seriously.”

“I tried making cereal.”

Shiro paused, taking it all in. Keith was sure he was going to scold him for being so reckless, but Shiro snorted and started laughing. He shook his head and looked at Keith.

“To make up for it, I’ll make macaroni. But only if you put some pants on.”

“I’m wearing a shirt.”

“I can see everything, and I don’t think you want your Lancy-boy knowing you’re not packing anything big, do ya?”

“Hey, Shiro?”

Shiro leaned in with a smug look on his face.

“I’m telling Allura you jack off to furry porn.”

Shiro looked scared, then mad.

Keith took off.

“Get back here you little shit!”

Keith laughed and shut his door, locking it.

Despite getting his ass beat and setting his kitchen on fire, he was happy.

And it was perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is by far, my least favorite chapter
> 
> also, in the next one we finally hear from our ladies man :)


	6. Lover Boy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhh i tried to make up for that weak ass chapter last time
> 
> but i dont think it worked
> 
> happy reading

_My dearest Kweef,_

_I can’t confirm nor deny that aliens eat quiche._  
_I’m 16, you youngster._  
_Aaaaaaaand my dick is 7.5 inches ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_  
_Now I get to ask questions._  
_Art thou a furry?_  
_What’s your hair like?_  
_Do you like Justin Bieber?_

 _Your man,_  
_Lance Mcclain_

  
“He’s fucking hung.”

“PIDGE!”

Pidge shrugged their shoulders and went back to work. Keith continued to blush furiously. Even if Lance was exaggerating his dick size, it still made Keith think.

_What the fuck?_

Keith was still contemplating just telling Lance to go fuck himself, the teacher walked up to him.

“So, Keith. What do you think of Lance?”

Keith flinched and looked up.

“He’s uh, he’s alright.”

The teacher smiled and nodded, satisfied with the answer.

“You’re blushing, Emo Boy.”

Keith looked over at Pidge, seeing their smug face.

“I don’t like him. I haven’t even had an actual conversation with him.”

“You like him.”

“JUST BECAUSE HE HAS A BIG DICK DOESN’T MEAN I-“

**_“Keith Kogane.”_ **

Keith stopped and stared at the teacher.

_**“Detention.”** _

Pidge looked just a shocked as Keith. Clearly, the teacher wasn’t taking any shit today.

“Y-yes ma’am.”

She nodded and continued to check on students. The students no longer spoke, too shook to say anything. Keith sat for a few moments, before beginning to write.

_Dear Lance,_

_I have a sneaking suspicion you’re lying, but whatever._  
_No, I’m not a furry. Don’t be weird._  
_Uh black and kinda long I guess._  
_No. I tend to stray more towards alt and “angry” music._  
_Is Frerard canon? Actually, don’t answer that I know the answer._  
_What’s the most messed up thing you’ve read?_  
_Do you watch rip vine compilations?_

 _Sincerely,_  
_Keith_

“What’s a furry?”

Keith was about to answer, but he was saved at the bell.

“Uuuhhh look it up, yeah?”

The teacher was confused but nodded, motioning for Keith to go.

“You’ve told that story to literally everyone. Don’t tell Hunk.”

Pidge looked at Keith, looked at him up and down, and flipped him off. They told Hunk how the teacher gave Keith a detention, the only one he’s ever had.

 

\--

 

“She gave you, Keith, a detention.”

“That’s how it goes, yeah.”

Hunk shook his head and continued eating. Keith slumped in his seat. He would have to tell Shiro why he was late, and he would have to stay in school.

“I should’ve dropped out in Elementary.”

Hunk wiped his mouth before saying, “That would’ve been illegal, Keith.”

“Not if I ran away,” Keith said, standing up.

“Catch you queers later.”

“For the last time Keith, I’m straight.”

“The majority of us are some type of gay, Hunk. You’ll live.”

 

\--

 

Chemistry with Lotor back was a literal hell.

Keith was hoping the fire would’ve burnt off all his hair, but that didn’t seem to be the case. It was obvious some of his hair was singed off, but the bandages covered any possible bald spots.

Lotor wasn’t helping, as was usual. He kept nagging at Keith for setting his “precious” hair on fire.

“-and oh my _god_ Keith. For you to have the _audacity_ to walk in here with black skinny jeans and a fucking My Chemical Romance t-shirt? Do you have any idea how bad that makes me look? And-”

“Lotor? I am not having the greatest day right now, so if you would be so kind as to **_shut the fuck up_** , that would be much appreciated. Thanks.”

“-hair _shut the fuck up Keith I’m not finished.”_

Keith was close, so close to ripping his eyelashes out. To avoid receiving another detention day, he raised his hand and said, “Hey Mr. Peter Lotor is really getting on my nerves and at this point, I’m close to shoving his face in some dry ice may I please work alone?”

To say Mr. Peter was stunned was an understatement.

“Um, sure Keith.”

Keith turned to Lotor and said, “That’s your cue to leave, cunt.”

Lotor went away, practically foaming at the mouth.

For the first time in a long time, Keith got his work done while being in the same room as Lotor.

 

\--

 

Detention wasn’t that bad.

Mr. G was manning the whole thing, but he passed out and was snoring loudly. Kids were throwing paper balls trying to get it in his mouth.

Keith just wanted to take a nap to pass the time, but it seems as though someone had other plans.

“You the emo kid Pidge keeps talking about?”

Keith shot out of his seat and turned around, only to find a boy that seemed strikingly familiar to Pidge.

“I’m Pidge’s brother, Matt,” he said as he stuck out his hand.

“Keith.”

Matt grinned and tried shooting some paper into Mr. G’s mouth, he failed.

“So uh, what are ya here for?”

“I said dick in front of the literacy teacher.”

“That’s fucking weak dude.”

“Well what did you do, Matt?”

Matt told Keith about how he broke a window recreating a vine. It was obvious him and Pidge were siblings.

He spent most of the detention talking with Matt, with only slight discomfort.

Detention ended with Matt finally making it into Mr. G’s mouth.

 

\--

 

“Were you out doing drugs or something? Why haven’t you called? Were you out getting high with those ‘friends’ of yours?”

Keith looked up from taking his shoes off and eyed Shiro skeptically.

“You really think I was out doing drugs, Shiro. I didn’t call because we had a test today and I didn’t want it going off. And my friends? You’ve seen them Shiro, the only one who could do damage is Pidge and they just hack shit. Calm down, okay? I’m fine.”

Shiro went from pissed to worried in .00000000000003 seconds.

“Are you sure you’re fine? You’ve been really tired lately, and I heard you the other night banging your head against the desk.”

“Yes dad, I’m fine. Just a little stressed, okay? It’s normal for a high schooler.”

Shiro went up to his room and before closing the door he said, “I’ll be skyping Allura, so don’t be making a lot of noise or she’ll think we’re getting robbed.”

“Only if you promise to keep the moans down this time.”

“KEITH.”

Keith chuckled and made his way up too. The day was more tiring than usual, and he just wanted it to be over with.

“Ya know, now would be a good time to abduct me.”

He waited.

“Nothing? Yeah okay, night.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> good news, i have 2/6 projects done, and the rest are easy


	7. The Endless Darkness and Mystery of the Ocean is Becoming a bit Tempting to Dive Into Right Now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys
> 
> uuuhhhhh i had to redo my projects cuz i cant do it on two different civilizations
> 
> but its cool tho
> 
> i now have 3/6 done
> 
> have a gay day

The weekend to Keith was like Jesus himself showed up and put his blessing on Earth.

He was planning on just staying home and enjoying Shiros’ cooking, but then he got a call.

_“Sup emo boy.”_

“Pidge. Please let me sleep.”

_“Don’t be like that. We’re gonna go fuck around a little bit with Hunk and Matt. And you’re coming too.”_

“Wait, Pidge I-“

They hung up.

Keith groaned and sat up. He looked over at the clock and sighed. It was only twelve in the afternoon, far too early to be up.

After getting dressed, Keith trudged down the stairs. Shiro was already up and was watching tv.

“Hey, big man. I’m gonna go hang with some friends.”

Shiro tore his eyes away from the screen and looked at Keith.

“Are they picking you up here?”

“I didn’t get the specifics.”

After texting Pidge, he found out that yes, they’re picking him up.

“Are they gonna come in, or are they just gonna honk and you go?”

“I would assume they come in since a lot of people honk around here.”

Shiro nodded and got a thoughtful look in his eyes.

“You are _not_ going to interrogate them.”

“I can and will. I’m the alpha of the house and you’re a mere beta.”

Keith whipped his head back and grunted loudly. He dragged his feet to the kitchen to eat something.

“I’m gonna talk to them.”

After deciding that he wasn’t going to eat anything, Keith slammed the refrigerator door shut.

“Oh my _god_ no.”

“What’s wrong with me getting to know them?”

“You ask too many questions!”

As the two brothers continued arguing, knocking ensued.

“ _I’m_ getting it,” Keith grunted, walking towards the door.

He opened it to reveal Hunk, Pidge, and Matt.

“Matt! I didn’t expect you to b-”

“Keith, why don’t you go get us some drinks while I talk to your friends?”

Keith slowly turned his head towards Shiro, ready to cuss him out, when Matt said, “That would be a _great_ idea.”

Keith sighed and shuffled to the kitchen. He grabbed three cans of soda and a cup of ice.

“-and you are not going to make him feel like shiiiiii- why is it just ice?”

Keith smiled and said, “Wait.”

Shiro narrowed his eyes and continued to tell the three what-to and what-not-to-do with Keith. The whole time Keith was beet red, waiting for it to be over.

“Okay Shiro I think we’re done here c’mon guys lets go!” Keith said hurriedly, standing up and slamming his drink on the table.

“Okay. Goodbye Shiro!” Hunk said waving.

 

\--

 

“Why are we listening to ‘The Muffin Man’?”

“Because Shiro said you’ve been cussing a lot lately, so we should cut back on any harsh language.”

Keith liked Matt, really he did. But at this moment, he wanted to strangle him and set him on fire.

“I don’t care if we have to put on fucking Nickelback or something, just anything but this,” Keith said, gesturing towards Matts’ phone.

“This is _exactly_ the reason why we’re doing this,” Matt said as he turned up the volume.

Keith sat there, fuming, for a good ten minutes. He had to sit through nursery rhyme after nursery rhyme and he was very close to ripping out his nails.

“We’re here.”

Keith looked out the window and saw where they were.

“Mini-golf?”

Matt turned around with a shit-eating grin.

“Mini-golf.”

 

\--

 

“WHAT THE FUCK HOW IN THE GODDAMN AM I SUPPOSED TO GET IT IN THE FUCKING-”

“Keith! There are _children_.”

Keith paused mid-rant and turned. There was a family standing behind him. He sheepishly smiled and waved while the angry parents pushed their children along.

“You are shit at this game, Keith.”

“Oh, I’m sorry Matt, it’s not like I’ve _never_ been here before.”

“You’ve never mini-golfed?”

Keith shook his head. Matt looked mortified.

“It’s okay, Matt. Keith doesn’t get out much. He’s too worried about getting abducted.”

“I’d take getting abducted and getting my ass probed than this.”

Throughout the entire game, Keith continued to muster out profanities and eventually managed to piss off every family there. Matt was down, while Pidge and Hunk just kept laughing. Despite being miserable, Keith was happy.

It was nice.

 

\--

 

“Why can’t we go home?”

“Because Keith, you need to see the ocean!”

Keith sighed and crossed his legs. He wasn’t in the best mood after getting his ass beat by Hunk, and his stomach was hurting from prehistoric hotdogs.

“Keith! Wake up man, you gotta see this!”

Keith shook his head and stepped out of the car. He was expecting to be on a pier or the sand, but he was standing on a huge rock. The sun was setting, and Keith’s eyes widened.

“Oh-oh my god.”

“I know, right?”

Keith walked over to the edge and sat down. He swung his legs over the side and stared across the sea. He’s only ever seen sunsets like these in worn paintings, and even then those couldn’t compare to the absolute comeliness he saw when he looked at the sky.

They sat in comfortable silence before Keith’s edgy ass decided to break it.

“I’m gonna jump.”

“Keith no-”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao this is so bad


	8. Northern Downpour Sends Its Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shit chapter for a shit day
> 
> update may get back to being every day again, since i plan on not having that many chapter left
> 
> i hinted at the ending in this one and its painfully obvious

Keith liked the rain.

Despite having awful experiences with it, it was a nice contrast to the chaos that overran his life. When it was lightly raining, Keith didn’t mind that he had to walk in it.

“You seem different today.”

“How do you mean?”

“I don’t know. You just seem, calm, I guess.”

Keith nodded and continued walking. Shiro was confused as to how this little ball of rage could be so calm in the morning, especially in the rain. And Keith took notice.

“Please stop staring at me.”

“Sorry.”

They walked in silence before the school came into view. For once he was early, and people were surprised.

“This is a first, Keith.”

“I guess it is, huh?” Keith smiled slightly and sat down. While Keith was waiting for Lance’s letter, Pidge spoke up.

“Well, this is a first, Emo Boy.”

“I told you, I’m not emo.”

“You called me up a few days ago crying over Panic!s new album.”

Keith was about to say something before the teacher dropped the letter on his desk. Keith looked at it only to find penis jokes and weird questions.

“This boy will be the death of me.”

“Awwww, can your gay little heart not take it?”

Keith was about to scream before the teacher gave him that look. Keith shut his mouth before he could get another detention.

“Soooooooo what’s this guy like?”

Keith had to think for a moment. He had an over exaggerated penis size, claimed to be the hottest thing in the universe, flirts with him, says no homo _(but full bi)._

“Just the stereotypical sixteen-year-old.”

Pidge smiled and nodded as if knowing something. Keith narrowed his eyes and turned back to his paper. He started writing back when Pidge just had to open their mouth.

“We were gonna make you come by later, but it seems as though the rain won’t let up.”

“Oh no! What a shame.”

“Fuck you. Ooh, lemme read your letter.”

Keith sighed and handed it over.

_My Dearest, Kweef_

_First of all, Justin Bieber is a god. For you to even put his name in your crusty mouth is an abomination. I was hoping we could be friends, but you’ve squashed any chance of that happening, Mullet. Fine whatever I’ll answer your stupid questions._  
_I don’t know what Frerard is. Is it a kind of ship?_  
_Probably The Girl Next Door. I had to read it for class and I had nightmares._  
_Yes. I can recite every single vine in existence. Watch me._  
_Now for your questions, emo boy._  
_Whomst is your god?_  
_Do you think redheads are evil?_  
_Can you please tell me what Frerard is?_

 _Your man,_  
_Lance Mcclain_

  
“You asked him what Frerard is?”

“I asked if he thought it was canon!”

“You’re gone, kid.”

Pidge handed Keith the paper and started packing up. It didn’t even cross Keith’s mind that the time goes by fast, especially in fanfiction.

 

\--

 

“Where do you think you’re going?”

Keith turned around to see an annoyed Pidge and concerned Hunk.

“I’m skipping lunch. I’m backed up on homework and I would like to get it done before I get yelled at by not only Shiro but the teachers.”

“No, you’re eating.”

“Who the hell do you think you are? My mom?”

“Keith, when your boyfriend comes here to visit you and you’re all skin-and-bones, who’s he gonna blame? You? Or the people who could’ve convinced him to eat?”

Keith groaned and started walking away. Lance was not his boyfriend, no matter how amusing he was. And he highly doubts Lance was coming to America anytime soon.

 

\--

 

“Why didn’t you eat lunch?”

“Shiro we’re not even halfway to our apartment and you’re already nagging at me.”

“I just want to know why you aren’t eating.”

“I had too much work to do. Besides, it’s not like I’m skipping dinner too. Calm down.”

Shiro kept trying to convince Keith that skipping lunch was awful, but Keith wasn’t listening.

“If I let you cook a lot, will you leave me alone?”

“Yes.”

 

\--

 

Keith fell asleep about a third of the way in into dinner. Shiro sighed and sat down his drink. He stood up and went to lift Keith.

“I’m gonna have a talk with those teachers about that work you guys are doing,” Shiro muttered as he walked up the stairs.

Shiro sat Keith down on his bed and removed his coat. He tucked him in and went to turn off the light.

“Goodnight, Keith. Tell the aliens I said hi.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao once this is done ill do oneshots and shit
> 
> i got one in mind thats lowkey angsty
> 
> itll be eruri so get ready


	9. Eat a Sandwich

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the fuck is up
> 
> yooooooooooooooo i got one more project left
> 
> im thinking of maybe having five more chapters??? then ill start doing one shots
> 
> after a little break tho

“You’re eating with us today. End of story.”

Keith looked up from his book to see Pidge glaring at him. For the past few months, Keith has been skipping lunch to do homework in the library.

“This shit started in February, it’s May, school’s almost over, and I haven’t seen you give a milk carton a glance.”

Keith sighed for the umpteenth time that day and sat his book down. He reached into his bag and pulled out a bag of Hot Cheetos. He opened it, not breaking eye contact, and ate one.

“There, ya happy?”

“Eat the entire bag.”

Keith shrugged and didn’t even complain. Hot Cheetos were his religion, so he wasn’t too upset.

“Don’t think you’re off the hook yet, emo boy. Schools almost over, so we won’t be getting homework.”

“What about reading?”

“Just lie! Oh my god!”

The bickering went on for most of the first period. The rest spent giving each other the silent treatment.

Keith knew Pidge was only looking out for him, and he was grateful. But they didn’t need to worry. Keith just eats twice a day. It’s fine.

“If you don’t come with us to eat lunch I’m gonna tell the counselor.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Try me, Emo Boy.”

Before it could get any more heated, the bell rang.

“See you at lunch, Keith.”

 

\--

 

Keith begrudgingly made it to the lunch line. He hasn’t been there for weeks, and he hasn’t missed it.

Thankfully, with the buzz of school almost being over, most of the kids stayed with their friends.

For once, being in the lunch line wasn’t so painful.

Keith grabbed a tray and made his way around others bustling around. He found his table only to have a bag shoved in his face.

“Sorry, I couldn’t wrap it up or anything,” Hunk said, scratching the name of his neck. “I’ve noticed how you don’t really eat the lunch food, so I made you something.”

“O-oh. Thank you, Hunk. That’s really nice of you,” Keith said, reaching for the bag.

He sat down and shoved his tray towards Hunk, opening his present in earnest. And inside was,

“Macaroni?”

Hunk swallowed and said, “Uh, yeah. You always go on about Shiro’s mac so I decided to try it out.”

Keith smiled slightly and nodded, eager to dig in.

After taking only one bite, Keith burst into tears.

“Woah! Woah, Keith. Let’s not cry man, okay?” Pidge said. They continued trying to comfort Keith when he said,

“IT’S SO FUCKING GOOD OH MY GOD.”

As Keith continued to cry and eat, Pidge got a text.

 _Keith’s Dad:_  
_My Shiro senses are tingling_

 _Pidge:_  
_It’s cool. Keith’s crying over some macaroni_

 _Keith’s Dad:_  
_As long as it’s not sad tears, it’s fine_

“Who are you texting?” Keith asked with a mouth full of food.

“First of all, ew. Secondly, your dad.”

“Shiro?”

Pidge nodded their head. Hunk smiled and said,

“I’m gonna make you food every day, get ready.”

Keith swallowed and sat his fork down.

“Please do.”

 

\--

 

“You’ll be working with partners today to create flyers to encourage kids to read over the summer.”

Keith inwardly groaned.

Sure, working with Hunk was awesome. The guy didn’t have a mean bone in his body. But Keith _hated_ making flyers.

Since going to school, at least once every year Mrs. Mary forces the class to make flyers or posters. Sometimes with things that matter like “don’t walk while you’re texting”, or things that have been engraved into the minds of the kids for years. “dOn’T dO dRuGs1111!1!11!!11!”

Anyways.

“So, I was thinking, we list the benefits of summer reading. I do the writing, you do the drawing.”

“Why do I have to do the drawing?”

“You’re an art gay.”

“I’d never thought I’d say this, Hunk, but I hate you.”

Hunk laughed and began searching up the facts. Keith started sketching little doctors and books. It was fairly pleasant before Mrs. Mary decided to open her putrid mouth.

“These are due at the end of class!”

Keith looked at the clock.

_If class ends at 12:30……_

“We have ten minutes.”

Hunk looked startled and started typing.

“I hope you have a fast hand.”

“It’ll be fine, we just need to make one and if we’re the best, then she’ll make copies.”

“These need to be fully colored, legible, with cited sources-”

As Hunk kept rattling off, Keith could only stare in bewilderment as Hunk’s hands flew across the board.

Once Hunk was done panicking and got the flyer printed, Keith started drawing.

“We probably won’t be the best, but that’s okay! Since I made a few typos.”

Keith nodded and erased a little bit. The bell rang and Keith scribbled his and Hunk’s name on the paper.

“Hey! I didn’t dismi-”

Keith could barely hear over his own footsteps.

 

\--

 

“I don’t care what you do, just don’t set anything on fire,” Mr. Peter glanced at Keith and Lotor.

“You just wanna fuck with the chemicals?” Lotor asked, sounding as if even looking at Keith hurt him.

“Sure, man.”

Chemistry was spent messing around with Lotor. Keith didn’t necessarily enjoy it, but it was better than most days.

And this time, no one caught their hair on fire.

 

\--

 

“So you actually ate today.”

“Fuck off, Shiro I’m going to bed.”

“It’s seven.”

“Never too early to catch up on sleep.”

“Whatever. Good night, Emo boy.”

Keith walked up the stairs and walked into his bedroom. After shutting the door he pulled out his phone. He dialed Pidge’s phone number and waited. When Pidge answered Keith didn’t hesitate.

“I’m never letting you around Shiro again.”


	10. Hi my name is Pathetic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well shit guys sorry for not updating
> 
> yeah after thinking it through theres no way in hades am i gonna get this done in five chapters
> 
> but for now i kinda wanna make the characters suffer
> 
> so uh yeah happy reading
> 
> edit: yuh i went back and edited the other chapters a bit

_My dearest Kweef,_

_I’m coming with my family in July to visit more family. Hopefully, we don’t pull a Home Alone 2._  
_I wanna meet you, Mullet. Pidge and Hunk too. And Matt, he seems pretty cool. And your brother Shiro._

_Hope to see ya there!_  
_Lance Mcclain_

  
“He’s coming in two months. **_Pidge, he is coming in two months.”_**

_Calm down, gay boy. You can’t hit him up with your terrible flirting just yet. Get to know the guy outside of the letters._

“I’m not gay for him, okay? I’ve told you that for months. I just wanna be real friends with him.”

_I’ve seen the way your face lights up when you talk about him._

Keith paused and thought it over. Lance was _kinda_ funny. He was a good flirt, that’s for sure. And when he sent in a picture Keith’s gay skyrocketed.

“So maybe I’m a _little_ gay for the guy, but I can’t just be like ‘oh hey! Even though we’ve never met, I think you’re super rad and I wanna suck your dick!’ That’s not how it works.”

_Didn’t he send you his phone number? Why don’t you text him?_

“That would erase the point of writing him letters.”

_Can you give me his phone number?_

“Fine. But you’re _not_ telling him anything, do you understand me?”

_Loud and clear, emo boy._

Keith sighed and started his search. It was Saturday, and Pidge didn’t show up to school Friday. Hence, why Pidge wanted Keith to read off the letter he received from Lance. Keith was still trying to find the number Pidge requested when Shiro called from downstairs.

“Keith! Breakfast is ready!”

Keith cursed silently as he finally dug up the phone number. He put the phone back to his mouth and said, “heysorryigottaeatcallyoulaterbye.”

Keith chucked his phone on the bed after ending the call. He ran down the stairs, eager to eat.

“I told you-you can’t be running down the stairs. Candi’ll file a noise complaint again,” Shiro said as he set piled pancakes on a plate.

“It’s a cheap apartment. She should expect this.”

Shiro sighed and went to pour himself some coffee. “I would love to tell her that, but her breath makes me gag.”

Keith chuckled lightly and grabbed some syrup. The brothers sat at the table and began eating.

“Allura’s gonna come over later. Don’t be blasting anything _too_ angry, yeah?”

Keith stopped his hand mid-way from his mouth and looked up. “Alright. Pretty. Odd. it is. Not that I’m complaining.”

Shiro swallowed some eggs before saying, “Just don’t play that ‘Downpour’ song. You start crying and I’d rather you not.”

“The album’s not complete without it!”

“Then keep the sobbing to a minimum, okay?”

Keith jutted his lip out and nodded. The two finished their breakfast and Keith went to do the dishes.

“No, no, no. You’re too weak. _I’m_ doing the dishes.”

Keith was about to thank him but stopped when he mulled over what he said.

“Weak? Whaddya mean weak?”

Shiro put his plate in the sink and turned the water on. “You only started eating regularly for about three days now. You can do the dishes when it becomes routine.”

Keith threw his hands in the air and sighed in exasperation.

“Alright, fine. Whatever,” Keith said as he stomped up the stairs.

“I can see Candi now.”

 

\--

 

After Pidge received Lance’s number, Keith was nervous.

Pidge has the power to tell Lance about Keith’s minor crush. It terrified Keith to no-end.

_Keith:_  
_You gotta promise me you won’t say anything_

_Pidgeon:_  
_You have my word emo boy_

Pidge was never reassuring.

 

\--

 

Keith was on the verge of crying.

Pidge’s text wasn’t reassuring, and he felt like he was going to explode.

Keith was currently sitting at his desk, biting his nails and bouncing his leg; something he often did when nervous.

As he was biting his nail down to the skin, Shiro came thundering up the stairs. Keith pulled his nail out of his mouth just as Shiro flung the door open.

“You’re nervous.”

“What. The fuck.”

“It’s about that guy you like, isn’t it? Pidge told me, don’t worry.”

Keith wanted to _die_.

“Keith? Hey, Keith. Don’t cry man, I’m not mad.”

“Please get out of my room.”

Shiro was about to protest but nodded and stood. He walked out of the room and softly closed the door. Keith stood up and walked over to his bed. He perched on the end and picked up a pillow. He shoved it in his face and screamed. He didn’t cry, oh no, Keith Kogane doesn’t cry, but he kept screaming.

If Pidge told Lance then that could be the end of their possible relationship. Keith wouldn’t even mind it if they just remained friends.

After five minutes he set the pillow down. He heard soft footsteps reach his door. He expected Shiro to come rushing in again demanding a hug, but there was light knocking.

“Keith? It’s Allura. May I come in, please?”

Keith stood and walked to open the door. There was Allura, but he could sense that Shiro was at least on the top stair steps.

Keith sidestepped to let Allura into his room. She sat on the bed and patted the empty spot next to her. Keith shut the door and walked over. He sat down and Allura pulled him into a hug.

Hugging was always different with Allura. With Shiro, he could feel his ribs crushing. Pidge gave awkward side-hugs. Hunk gave bear hugs, but Allura’s were always different. Firm, but not too firm. She knew when to pull away and when to keep the embrace. Allura was the only girlfriend Shiro’s had that Keith can say he thoroughly enjoyed.

“Boy problems?” she asked quietly.

“Boy problems,” Keith said, followed with a deep sigh.

They kept the embrace for a bit before Allura pulled away. She tucked her hair behind her ear before speaking.

“Shiro told me a little about it. He said his name is Lance. I didn’t really listen to him much though. I wanted to hear from you,” she smiled softly.

“Yeah, his name’s Lance. I don’t even know if it’s a legitimate crush. I just wish Pidge could keep their mouth shut.”

Allura nodded and urged him to go on about him.

They spent their time together with Allura laughing and letting Keith talk. Talk isn’t the right word, _gushing over man candy_ would be better.

“And oh my god can you imagine what his laugh might sound like? I don’t care if his laugh sounds like a donkey’s and reaches 170 decibels, I would be able to adore it.”

Keith talked about Lance for what seemed like forever. Once he was done Allura was practically _beaming_ at him. She took his hands into her own.

“Keith, this isn’t just some crush you’ll get over, you’re in love.”

Keith mulled it over in his head. He’s had petty crushes before, on Nick Jonas, that one guy from p.e., young Harrison Ford. Hell, in fourth grade he had a small crush on Apollo.

“I, I guess it is.”

Allura squealed and started waving her arms everywhere. She stood up and was about to walk out the door before saying, “When he gets here, make sure he meets me. We have a lot to talk about.” She winked at Keith and left without another word.

 

\--

 

For a while, Keith forgot about Pidge. But when he was reminded of his friends' betrayal, he wanted to cry all over again.

He picked up his cell and dialed their number. When Pidge picked up, he had to suck in a breath.

“Don’t talk to me, don’t look at me, don’t breathe in my general direction, lose my number, don’t let my name come out of your mouth.” Keith didn’t let Pidge reply before hanging up.

He threw his head back and groaned loudly. He stood up and took off his pants and went to turn off the light. He thought about Lance’s next letter and got a wave of anxiety roll over him.

“Let’s just hope he doesn’t bring it up, yeah?” he said to no one but himself.

He climbed under the covers and covered his whole body.

“I’m so fucking pathetic.”

And he shut his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> s/o to the cunt who got the reference


	11. Pidge likes the D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shit chapter for a shit day
> 
> i kinda just wanted to get something out, as im done with all my project but whoopdy fucking do, i have to do one for literacy
> 
> it involves drawing, and going back through a book, and trying to memorise the way the characters look based off fanart
> 
> overall its a bunch of bullshit

Keith didn’t sleep last night.

Well, he did. But he was restless, so he didn’t _really_ sleep.

He woke at three and couldn’t go back to sleep. He sat up groggily and rubbed his eyes. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood up. Yawning as he stretched.

Keith padded over to his computer. He turned it on and waited for the screen to turn bright. After being momentarily blinded, he logged in.

“Anime tiddies, here I come.”

Keith opened HuniePop and began playing. Keith wasted his time on his computer for four hours. He heard Shiro yelling at him from downstairs.

“Keith! C’mon man you gotta eat!”

Keith slouched slightly and sighed. He turned around a little bit and said, “I’m not hungry.”

Turning back to his computer he could _feel_ the worry emanating from his older brother. The tell-tale footsteps coming from the stairs filled Keith with dread. He could anticipate the lecture, or worse.

A hug.

The door flung open to reveal Shiro, with worry etched across his face.

“Why aren’t you eating?”

“Because I’m not hungry.”

“It’s because of Pidge, isn’t it?”

Keith stopped and turned. It probably wasn’t the best idea, given the face Shiro made. Keith shot up and ran out the door as Shiro made a move to hug him.

“Let me love you dammit!”

Keith rushed down the stairs, tripping only once. He made his way into the kitchen and grabbed a spoon.

Shiro appeared behind him just as Keith swung around. He jabbed the spoon into Shiro's chest.

“If I eat, you’ll leave me be. Deal?”

Shiro paused and mulled over the words. After only a moment's hesitation, he nodded. Keith sat the spoon down and grabbed his plate. He cautiously walked to his seat, eyeing Shiro.

The two brothers sat in silence, munching on eggs.

When the two were done, Keith heard shouting from outside the door. It was too muffled for Keith to make out what they were saying, but he went to open the door anyway.

He opened the door only to find Pidge and Matt, standing on the ground outside their balcony.

Pidge was holding up a sign that read, “I’LL EAT YOUR ASS JUST PLEASE TAKE ME BACK”, while Matt was playing “Gary Come Home” with two recorders shoved in his nostrils.

It was good thinking, Keith would admit. But it would take more than that to win back his pitiful friendship.

“SUCK MY DICK ALL YOU WANT BUT YOU’RE NOT GETTING ME THAT EASILY,” he shouted to the siblings, causing angry mothers to open the doors and glare at him. Keith didn’t care though and watched with disdain as the two teens walked off.

Keith retreated back into his apartment and saw a -once again- concerned Shiro.

Shiro moved to talk to him but Keith cut him off with a wave of his hand.

“Just leave me alone, okay? You promised you wouldn't bother me.”

Shiro was about to protest but Keith was already walking up the stairs. Walking into his room, Keith collapsed onto his bed. He was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to wind down and take a nap.

He closed his eyes and drifted off to the laughter of a stupid out-of-his-league Cuban boy.

 

\--

 

When Keith awoke, the sun was setting. Reminding him of his first time to the beach. Keith sighed, _again_ , and sat up.

He grabbed his phone and saw over a dozen missed calls and texts from Pidge, a few from Matt, and one from Allura. He didn’t want to deal with it today, so he went downstairs. He found Shiro curled up on the couch snoring loudly. Keith shook his head and went to grab a blanket from the closet. He draped it over Shiro and went to the kitchen.

He searched relentlessly for his favorite chips, Flamin’ Hot Cheetos. After finding them, he sunk away into his room to watch more conspiracy videos. After his twentieth, he searched for something new. He stumbled upon a knife review channel, Jim Skelton.

Keith watched his reviews until the ungodly hours of the morning. Keith left his bag of Cheetos long forgotten to watch this man talk about knives. After watching his last video, Keith turned off his computer. He walked to his bed and collapsed, falling asleep as soon as he hit the pillow.

At one point, Shiro walked in, ready to alert his little brother that breakfast was ready. Noticing the tired state Keith was in, he let him be.

Tucking in Keith, Shiro turned off the light. He turned back to see Keith staring at him warily. Shiro mouthed, “go back to sleep” and Keith nodded off. Shiro shut the door and called up Pidge.

“Buy him a lifetime supply of Hot Cheetos and he’ll be crawling back at any time.”

_Deal._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i told you it was shit sorry fam


	12. I Eat Ass, I Never Starve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and goddamn
> 
>  
> 
> [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0DU5-kk2sZk)
> 
>  
> 
> lmao also
> 
> go subscribe to this [bitch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sadtomatoboy/pseuds/sadtomatoboy) cos im gonna make sure this cunt posts some goddamn works and shes good at it so be ready
> 
> one more thing
> 
> over 1000 reads? really? are you serious?? i literally expected to only get five reads or smth. ahhhhhh ily guys a lot, even if i called some guy cunt

Keith sighed, something Shiro noticed he’s been doing recently.

“Just give them a chance.”

Keith turned from his spot on the bed and glared at his older brother. “Give the backstabbing cunt a chance?”

Shiro nodded, raising his eyebrows.

Keith leaned back against his pillows and curled up. “I’m not going to school, old man.”

Shiro’s eye twitched at the mention of his nickname Keith is dead set on giving him. He would rather be called “dad” than “old man”.

The two stayed there for a bit in silence. An occasional cough or rustle breaking the quiet.

“If you go, Pidge has a surprise for you.”

Keith’s interest was piqued.

He turned to face Shiro from his position on the bed. Looking at his older brother he narrowed his eyes.

“What kind of surprise?”

“You’ll just have to see.”

Keith groaned and got up. Throwing on ripped jeans and a possibly clean band shirt, he followed Shiro downstairs.

“Here, I made you something small,” Shiro said as he handed Keith a fucking sandwich.

“It’s a fucking sandwich.”

Shiro nodded. “It’s a fucking sandwich.”

 

\--

 

Walking into school felt surreal.

He noticed Hunk, staring at him with concern, before pointing to where Pidge was.

Pidge had another sign.

Matt was there too, singing “Cotton Eyed Joe” into a probably stolen megaphone.

Approaching the siblings, Keith couldn’t help but gasp.

“PLEASE TAKE MY OFFERING, EMO BOY.”

Pidge sat the sign down and walked over to Keith. They got down on one knee, and Matt handed them a large box. Opening it, revealed…

Hot. Fucking. Cheetos.

“I know we’ve been fighting for the past few days, but I just wanted to let you know I’m sorry and it didn’t mean to happen. The three of us have missed your self-deprecating humor, and I guess what I’m trying to say is,” Pidge paused to take a breath. “Keith Kogane, will you let me eat your ass?”

Keith covered his mouth and nodded, smiling.

The crowd that formed around them started cheering as the bell rang.

Keith turned and smiled at Pidge.

“I can’t wait for the honeymoon.”

 

\--

 

Sitting next to his future-ass-eater, Keith sighed. But it wasn’t out of annoyance, oh no.

It was the fact that he could live off those fucking Cheetos for the rest of his days as a dying organism.

The teacher began passing out paper to write to their pen pals. Pidge reached over and poked Keith’s cheek.

“I played it off as a joke, so he probably won’t bring it up.”

Keith flinched. He had completely forgotten about why he was mad and was focusing on putting those Cheetos in other orifices.

“Uh thanks, man.”

Pidge nodded and continued writing. Keith turned to his own paper and began writing.

  
_Dear Lover Boy,_

_If you don’t come to meet me I will rip out your eyelashes. Don’t test me, boy._  
_Also, tell your mom I said hi. She seems like a nice woman._  
_If you do meet Shiro, be careful. He likes to “interrogate” people._

_Have a fun time!_  
_Keith Kogane_

“That’s short as fuck.”

“What else am I gonna talk about? The teacher said we didn’t have to keep writing questions since we should know a bit about each other.”

Pidge interrupting his writing never really surprised him anymore. He’s grown used to the tiny jumpscares.

“Ask him about his dick.”

“I’ve already done that.”

Pidge furrowed their brows and turned back to their paper. Keith grabbed his box of god and his bag and was ready to leave.

Pidge turned to Keith and said, “You’re still eating with us.”

“I get it, I get it, I weigh .000000000000000004 pounds.”

Pidge nodded and walked ahead, their little legs speeding them along.

 

\--

 

As soon as Keith sat down, a bag was shoved in his face.

“You weren’t answering my calls so I was worried you weren’t eating so I made you five containers of soup.”

Keith blinked stupidly and took the bag. Eating the soup and thanking Hunk graciously was all he could do to keep himself from crying because holy fuck was _this shit good._

“Not that you guys care or not, Shiro made me eat.”

Pidge swallowed their milk and gave Keith a questioning look. “He can get you to willingly eat?”

“We come to an agreement each time,” Keith said before taking a bite.

Pidge continued to look at him while Hunk just kept silently screaming.

“When your boyfriend comes he’s gonna be mad that you’re a beanpole.”

“HE’S NOT MY FUCKING BOYFRIEND.”

 

\--

 

“Sooooooooo you have a boyfriend?”

Keith nearly spilled the Butyric acid. He turned to see Lotor playing with his hair while giving him a side glance.

Noticing Keith’s look of confusion, Lotor sighed and let go of his hair. He turned his body towards Keith and cocked his hip.

“I heard the kid in green talking with the tall guy about it.”

Keith sat down the super ultra mega dangerous chemicals and looked at Lotor.

“First off, he’s not my boyfriend. Second, the two you were eavesdropping is Pidge and Hunk,” Keith gestured to Pidge building a castle with beakers. “Third, why would it matter?”

Lotor shrugged before opening his disgustingly oversized mouth and emanating his hot breath. “Oh, no reason. I don’t have a problem with it, just don’t kiss him in public or anything, yeah? Might cause a heart attack.”

Keith was about to go ham on his ass before Pidge waved him over. Keith walked over while glaring at his shoes. Looking up, he saw an extremely excited Pidge and…

“There’s a drawbridge.”

“Surprise!” Pidge yelled, clapping widely.

Thankfully, Mr. Peters wasn’t in the room, or he would’ve pitched a fit. Keith looked at the clock and realized there were only five minutes left.

“You need to get this stuff put back before Mr. Peters walks in.”

“But it lowers and everything!”

“‘But it lowers and everything’ _**Pidge.**_ You are going to get detention.”

Pidge sighed and reluctantly nodded. Walking back to his table, Keith started cleaning. Wiping the residue from their earlier argument, he glanced back to see Lotor with a group of girls. He noticed the girl who warned him about Lotor saw him. Keith raised his hand and waved, while she only nodded, before turning back to her friend group.

Keith was out the door as soon as the bell rang.

 

\--

 

Shutting the door to their apartment made Keith sigh with relief.

“You seem to be sighing a lot lately. Everything okay?” Shiro asked as he took off his shoes.

Keith nodded. “Yeah. Just tiring.”

“Wait until you’re a senior.”

“I’ll drop out before that time comes.”

Shiro chuckled and made his way to the kitchen. Keith followed and stood behind him. The two brothers scanned their eyes over the ingredients.

“We can’t make anything with what we have.”

“It’s cool man, I’ll just munch on my present,” Keith said, gesturing to the box by the doorway.

Shiro blinked before saying, “They actually got you hot Cheetos.”

Keith was already going towards the box and nodded. Grabbing it, he walked upstairs with a pep in his step.

“Well, what am I gonna eat?”

Keith paused.

“Milk.”

Before making it to the top, he heard Shiro sigh. Keith smiled lightly after shutting his bedroom door. Plopping himself onto his bed, Keith opened the box. Grabbing a bag, he laid back and opened it up.

Keith managed to eat two bags before Shiro put a stop to it.

“Ohhh myyyyy goooood these are so fucking good,” Keith moaned while eating his last Cheeto. He was going for another bag when Shiro yelled.

“Stop watching your porno and go to bed!”

Keith stopped and frowned. His mouth craved the slight burn of the Cheetos. He reluctantly removed his clothes down to his boxers and turned off the light. Climbing into the bed he pulled the covers up to his chin. Looking at the ceiling, Keith gave a peace sign.

“Peace my alien brethren.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i um uh
> 
> yeah lmao actually go subscribe to her she might listen to me


	13. That is a Peen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> um uh hi
> 
> so i just watched love, simon and i am a gay mess
> 
> also s/o to this [cunt](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sadtomatoboy/pseuds/sadtomatoboy) for helping me with hunks tumblr username

Keith covered his eyes.

The fiery ball of anger that would soon engulf the floating space rock decided to be one of those kids who post their wins on Fortnite to Snapchat.

In other words, annoying.

Keith was out with The Siblings™, Hunk, and his dad.

Sorry, Shiro.

Matt was currently riding shotgun with his feet on the dashboard.

“I’m kinda hungry.”

Keith knew what was coming, but he couldn’t react fast enough.

“Hi Kinda Hungry, I’m Shiro.”

Keith groaned loudly, regretting even  _ thinking  _ about letting his brother come with them.

Matt smiled tightly. He glanced back at Keith with a look that said, _  “how can you live like this?” _

Keith shrugged and turned to Pidge. They were trying to convince Shiro to let them put music on.

“C’mon, old man!”

“No, Keith doesn’t need to be hearing things like that.”

“I called you a cunt the other day!” Keith intervened.

Shiro turned around after stopping at a red light. “That’s exactly why.”

Keith groaned and sat back. Between the Dad jokes, The Muffin Man, and Pidge’s elbow digging into his side, Keith was ready to blow.

The teens sat in the car for a bit. The only thing breaking the silence was the Nursery Rhymes Matt put on.

“Keith, I can feel you burning my skull. We’re here, so you can stop.”

Keith huffed and opened the door. Pidge followed after him with Matt and Hunk coming in as well. Shiro led the other teens to the mall, with difficulty.

Matt kept trying to run ahead, Keith was staring at his shoes which led to Shiro constantly having to pull him back from traffic, and Pidge and Hunk were engrossed in a conversation.

“Guys, could you  _ please  _ pay attention? We’re almost to the door.”

That got their attention.

Walking through the doors of the mall filled the kiddies with joy.

Matt gravitating towards Spencers, Keith running towards Hot Topic, Hunk going to the food court, Pidge sashaying to the phone store, and Shiro just stands there.

He was only invited since he’s the only one with a car anyways.

So Shiro milled about, looking at pointless things while hoping that the kiddies weren’t up to no good.

Keyword: Hoping

 

\--

 

“Excuse me? Miss? How much is this dildo?”

“You are grabbing onto a man’s penis.”

Matt stopped and looked at the flustered man. He let go of the man’s pants and patted the front of his jeans and smiled.

Mildly embarrassed, Matt continued his adventure. Spencers, to Matt, was like an upgraded Hot Topic. They had things pertaining to the emos, but they also had things like…

“There is just sex toys galore, huh?” Matt muttered to no one in particular. He wasn’t looking to buy anything, rather, just see what he’s been missing.

He stopped in front of a Rick and Morty Tee. He liked the show and was about to get it, before inspecting the print closer. “SZECHUAN DIPPING SAUCE” was plastered on the front. Matt put it down with disgust. Don’t get him wrong, the sauce was great, but after seeing the utter insanity the show brought with made the sauce undesirable.

Matt found other shirts that should’ve never been made. Multiple shirts depicting top-and-bottom text memes, a shirt about a beard, and a plethora of things related to weed.

Matt nodded in understanding after thinking of Shiro telling Keith not to come in here. Although, there were a few edgy twelve-year-olds that somehow made their way in here.

“Having trouble finding anything?”

Matt let out an incredibly and not at all girly scream. He jumped a little too, after seeing one of the workers approach him.

“Uh yeah no, everything’s good.”

The worker smiled and nodded. “Just let me know if you need anything.”

Matt gave a forceful smile and turned away grumbling. “A little warning would be nice, y’know?”

He continued to grumble about how ridiculous the staff is at any place and kept looking at hilariously bad clothing.

After looking at a shirt that would make edgy teens cum in their too tight jeans, Matt spotted a mullet in the distance.

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t Queef Cocaine,” he said as he sat down the shirt. He exited the store with the sole intention of fucking with the short emo he saw ahead of him.

Keith searched the racks for a band tee.

As per usual.

He only had a few bucks and he planned on getting at least three shirts. He wasn’t sure what to get though, as 99% of his wardrobe consisted of the emo trinity.

He walked past the skinny jeans to scan the racks. He was tempted to get another Panic! shirt, but Shiro would pitch a fit.

Keith picked up a  _ Blink 182 _  tee. He was considering buying it, but decided against it, as he hasn’t listened to them since forever. Finding a  _ Gorillaz  _ shirt would be a good choice, but he would forever be haunted by  _ Humanz _ . Keith sat it down.

He walked around the store trying to find the right one. He paused when finding a  _ BTS  _ shirt, but remembered he doesn’t really listen to them.

Keith decided on a  _ Paramore  _ t-shirt. It was simple but white. He didn’t have a problem with it, but he would have to tell Hunk to try and make him something that wouldn’t result in a mess.

Looking over, he saw Matt in Spencers. He was cupping the front of a man’s jeans. Keith could feel the second-hand embarrassment. He then proceeded to watch Matt pat the man’s pants before he had to turn away. He almost felt sorry for Matt.

Almost.

Returning to his original spot, Keith craned his head up to look at the types of shirts they had. After settling on a Misfits shirt that Shiro would more than likely gripe about, he got a text from Hunk.

_ Hunk: _

_ Get everyone to come to the food court. There’s a bunch of long lines and it’s about time for lunch _

Keith looked at the time and realized that indeed, it was almost lunch.

_ Keith: _

_ We’ll be there in a minute, big guy _

Keith stuffed his phone into his pocket and quickly tried to find another shirt. He settled on a one that said ‘MANIA’ and went to the cash register.

After paying he turned only to see Matt coming towards him.

“Hey, Hunk just texted me. We gotta get Shiro and Pidge and meet up at the food court.”

Matt slung his arm over Keith’s shoulder. “Say no more, my emo brother.”

 

\--

 

“Miss, you can’t-”

“Shhhhh. You’ll disrupt my work.”

Pidge was sitting in a small phone store, currently “looking” at the phones.

“But you can’t change the lock screens!”

Pidge turned around to face the man. “I’m just seeing if it works. I’ll change it back after I’m done.”

The man sighed and walked away. Pidge scowled at his back before returning to the phone.

“Let’s see, One Direction or Big Time Rush?”

After tapping their chin, Pidge fished out their wallet.

“Heads: One D, Tails: Big Time Rush.”

Flipping the coin, Pidge came to a decision.

“One Direction it is.”

Pidge went about the store, changing every lock screen to varying pictures of One Direction. They skillfully avoided the staff and was almost done when the same man from earlier showed up.

“Hey, Miss? You need to change these back.”

Pidge didn’t even look up from the phone in their hands before saying, “When I’m done, I’ll change it back.”

It was obvious that the man was furious having a sixteen-year-old was telling him what to do.

“Look, if you don’t change all of the lock screens back and lea-”

“Pidge!"

Said teen looked up to find Matt running with Keith trailing behind. Pidge got the message and sat the phone down. Sprinting out of the store they followed the two boys.

“So, we gotta go get Shiro.”

Pidge nodded and turned to Keith who was struggling to keep up. Pidge laughed slightly and said Shiro probably wouldn’t be doing anything. Given this information, the three of them slowed down. Keith panting like his life depended on it.

“Maybe if you layed off the Cheetos, you’d be in better shape.”

Keith straightened his back and glared at Matt. “The day I stop eating those God-given treats is the day I die.”

 

\--

 

They found Shiro waiting on a bench.

He had earbuds in and was obviously bored.

“Careful. He’s listening to a podcast.”

“Welcome to Night Vale or The Official Podcast?”

“Neither.”

Matt stared in horror as Shiro tapped his foot. The three teens approached him like a wild animal. They were only three steps away before Shiro looked up. He took his earbuds out and stood.

“I can’t give you guys more money.”

“No need. Hunk needs us at the food court.”

Shiro nodded and followed the three.

“So what did you guys do?”

“I mistook a penis for a dildo.”

“I just bought a few shirts.”

“I fucked with one of the staff.”

Shiro wasn’t even surprised.

“Sounds like fun.”

 

\--

 

Keith swallowed with annoyance.

“Okay, so  _ I  _ can’t be on my phone while we’re eating but  _ you  _ can?”

Hunk sighed and looked at Keith. “It’s for my blog, little boy.”

Keith was going to question him before Pidge cut in.

“It’s on Tumblr. Y’know, ‘knock-off-gordon-ramsay’?”

“No, I don’t know. But thanks for enlightening me.”

The four ate in silence, with Hunks furious typing the only sound other than the constant yelling.

“Why are you so mad?” Matt questioned.

“These noodles are an abomination and I’ll be  _ danged  _ if my followers have to try it.”

Shiro stifled his laughter at the word “danged”.

The teens continued to eat and went to throw their trash away. As they were leaving, they had to go another way as the guy Pidge messed with was probably looking for them.

“Not even worried about it.”

Keith stopped and turned to Pidge.

“One more vine reference and I’m killing you all.”

Matt chuckled and hurried to the car. Climbing in, he snagged shotgun from Keith, something that pissed him off for no reason.

As they were driving, there was a “ROAD WORK AHEAD” sign.

“Matt don’t you dare.”

Said boy turned around and gave Keith a shit-eating-grin.

“Road work ahead? Uh, yeah, I sure hope it does.”

Keith whipped out his knife and lunged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah no but if you havent already go watch love, simon it actually fucked me up and made me feel things


	14. Shut the F*** up A*** C****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uuuuuuuggggggggghhhhhhhhh s/o to [this absolute piece of shit](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sadtomatoboy/pseuds/sadtomatoboy) love your fanfic tho for lotors nickname and shit and the chapter title i guess
> 
> uh i decided to make mrs. mary mr. d so yeah

“You’re coming to Allura’s play tomorrow.”  
  
Pidge looked up from their fish sticks and said, “Whomst?”  
  
Keith groaned and sat down. Grabbing the sandwich Hunk ever so graciously made for him, Keith started opening the paper it was wrapped in.  
  
“Shiro’s girlfriend?”  
  
“Ooooohhhh that one. The one with the super long hair?”  
  
Keith nodded and began eating. Moaning in delight, he listened in on the other’s conversation.  
  
“My followers thanked me since some of them went to try the noodles. And they were appalled.”  
  
“I bet.”  
  
Continuing with light banter, the three spent their lunch talking about regular teenage angsty boi™ things. Everything ranging from the possible war to which lunch lady got their hair stuck in the food. It was nice, just chilling. But not in Cedar Rapids.  
  
“Keith, my man, my brother, my homie, my homeslice, my-”  
  
“Get on with it.”  
  
Pidge pouted and sighed. “What’s the play about?”  
  
“You seriously haven’t seen the posters?”  
  
Both Pidge and Hunk shook the heads. Keith did too, amazed at how oblivious the two were. It amazed him as to how these two had somewhat better grades than him.  
  
“Well, what about Matt? Is he coming too?”  
  
“He can. I’m not sure if Allura has actually met him since he spends all his time in detention.”  
  
Pidge was going to defend their brother but thought better of it, seeing as how Keith was right.  
  
For the first time, Keith stayed before the bell rang. He hurried out the doors with Pidge and Hunk calling after him.  
  
“Get back here, thot!”  
  
Keith turned back just in time to see Pidge running towards him. He was too late to react and ended up sprawled on the ground with the surprisingly heavy three-foot child on top of him.  
  
“You didn’t say goodbye.”  
  
“I will murder your entire family.”

 

\--

  
  
Mrs. Mary was just as terrifying as last time.  
  
The way Pidge landed on him left Keith with a slight limp. He wasn’t sure how to explain to the old-fashioned adult that he wasn’t in a fight.  
  
“Kevin! You’re late.”  
  
Keith didn’t try to correct her this time. “I know. I have a note.”  
  
Mrs. Mary squinted her eyes and evaluated the small gay in front of her. She stuck out her hand and grasped the paper with such force that Keith was sure that if he put his hand there, it would’ve been broken.  
  
He walked to his seat, silently praying that the teacher wouldn’t notice.  
  
Keith’s never been a lucky man.  
  
“Kale? You’re limping. What happened?”  
  
Keith cringed and turned around. Sparing a glance at Hunk, the Soft Boy™ shrugged and turned back to his computer.  
  
“One of my friends jumped on me.”  
  
Mrs. Mary tilted her head slightly as if asking a question. She shook her head and motioned for him to sit down after a pause.  
  
Keith slid into his chair and looked on the board. ‘JUST TYPING FOR TODAY’. Keith groaned and logged in. Since they have to type today, that means they have to do actual work tomorrow.  
  
After repeatedly typing nonsensical sentences, he heard a little ‘psst’.  
  
“Hey, hey kid at number three. Yeah, you. C’mere.”  
  
Keith leaned in and listened.  
  
“We have math together. Help me out and let me see your notes.”  
  
Keith shrugged and opened his bag quietly. They weren’t allowed to do work from other classes unless they were done.  
  
He handed the notes to the guy to his left and turned back to his computer.  
  
“Kent! Detention!”  
  
Keith jumped at the sound of Mrs. Mary yelling. He turned and gave her a confused look.  
  
“For not only talking, but you’re doing classwork without being done.”  
  
The first one, he could understand. But the work? He glanced at his bag.  
  
It was open.  
  
For the rest of the period, Keith silently cursed to himself. Typing furiously, he looked over at the guy who got him into that mess. He glared at that insufferable piece of shit the whole time. Occasionally, he would look up and Keith would turn away.  
  
Keith hoped he wouldn’t have to see his face again.

 

\--

  
  
“Lotor, buddy, pal, friend, I’m really not in the mood right now, so if you could just not?”  
  
Keith was back in chemistry with Lotor being the ultimate douche. He would not shut up about his new nipple piercings.  
  
“Ugly boy, hey, listen. So when they were inserted the guy did it wrong and we had to do it ag-“  
  
Keith slammed down his super ultra mega important chemicals and turned to Lotor.  
  
“Lotor, I do not want to listen to another one of your drunken stupors. Why don’t you go tell Mindy?” He gestured to the girl across the room.  
  
Lotor narrowed his eyes and nodded. Crossing his arms, he made his way to his friend group.  
  
Was Keith overreacting? Yes. Is it justifiable though? It’s a hard maybe.  
  
He continued mixing the tremendously dangerous chemicals when Mr. Peters came over.  
  
Leaning over the table made Keith nervous. “So uh, where’s your partner?”  
  
“Not here,” Keith responded a little too quickly. He picked up a pencil to write down what was happening a bit forcefully.  
  
Mr. Peters nodded and continued walking around. Keith exhaled and continued writing. It was fairly easy work, and he got done while glaring silently. Glancing over at Lotor made him more and more annoyed by the second.  
  
“The hell are you glaring at?”  
  
“Lotwhore.”  
  
Pidge nodded in agreement and settled themself beside Keith. They leaned over his shoulder and squinted their eyes. They stuck their finger to the page.  
  
“You spelled that wrong.”  
  
Keith grabbed his jacket and wrapped it up. He planted his face into it and screamed profanities that not even this fanfiction can spew.

 

\--

  
  
Walking into detention brought Keith back.  
  
It’s where he met Matt, the possible pyromaniac and where encouraged the actions held against Mr. G. He took a seat next to the aforementioned male, who gave him a thumbs up. Keith smiled tightly and took out his homework. He began solving for x while somehow managing not to bang his head against the fucking desk.  
  
“You’re doing work? Loser.”  
  
Keith looked up from his almost-finished problem. “Matt, I’m so close to setting this school on fire. Please, shut up.”  
  
Matt almost looked hurt. The look was wiped off his face when he heard Mr. G’s head hit the board. He smirked and dug through his bag. Keith shook his head when a straw showed up in Matt’s hand.  
  
“Paper?” Matt asked gesturing toward Keith’s binder. He sighed and ripped out a sheet. He didn’t see the point in bringing it out of the clasps.  
  
Matt snatched it from his hand and tore off a piece. Chewing quickly, he spits it into the straw. He aimed for Mr. G’s head.  
  
Mr. G bolted upright and waved his head around wildly. His eyes scanned the classroom. There weren’t that many people in there, so it was strange to see him stand up and crane his head.  
  
Keith sighed and continued working.  
  
Almost done with his homework, he glanced at the clock.  
  
“Hey uh, Mr. G?”  
  
Said man looked up from his seat.  
  
“Detention’s over, are we dismissed?”  
  
Mr. G cocked his head to the side. “I don’t know Keith, are you?”  
  
“According to the school, the latest you can keep us is 4:30. So yes sir, we are dismissed,” Matt intervened.  
  
Mr. G scowled and nodded, standing. Keith looked at Matt and gathered his things. Matt looked at him and smiled.  
  
“Catch ya later, Mullet.”

 

\--

  
  
“Detention after detention Keith, what am I gonna do with you?” Shiro sighed.  
  
Keith rolled his eyes and took off his shoes. Setting his bag on the hook by the door, he made his way to the couch.  
  
“At least _I_ don’t watch talk shows all day,” Keith retorted.  
  
Shiro’s eyes followed Keith up the stairs. “Where do you think you’re going?”  
  
Keith opened his door before calling out, “I'M GONNA SHOVE THE CHEETOS UP MY ASS.” and slammed it shut.

 

\--

  
The rapping on Keith’s window is what woke him up.  
  
He sat up and yawned, rubbing his eyes. He looked around the room groggily before settling on the window. He tilted his head and squinted, waiting for his eyes to adjust. He saw none other than Matt outside his window.  
  
After confirming that it was the insufferable twat, he made his way over. He opened his window to let Matt in, but he shook his head.  
  
“C’mon, you had a tough day today. So, we’re going out!”  
  
Matt’s smile almost made Keith forget that it was midnight. He frowned and was about to shove him out, before getting a text from Hunk.  
  
_Hunk:_  
_Do it. Please?_  
  
Keith groaned. “Fine, but when I come to school late and completely flunk sophomore year, I’ll know who to suffocate in their sleep.”  
  
Matt huffed a laugh and went to slide down the ladder. Keith watched him go down with a bit of amusement, his mind not quite working right.  
  
Throwing on a classic _MCR_ shirt and tattered jeans, Keith climbed out his window.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its a bad chapter but the cunt wouldnt stop telling me to update


	15. To the Revolution

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhh hi
> 
> holy fuck its taking me a long time to get chapters out sorry
> 
> also um uh a bitch is shook 
> 
> for two reasons
> 
> anyways enjoy

It wasn’t until they were in Matt’s beat-up van that Keith realized what they were doing.  
  
Sneaking out at midnight isn’t something Keith would normally do. Mostly because there’s a high chance of being caught, and he’s tired enough in the mornings.  
  
He glanced out the window to gaze at the passing streets. Sign after sign passed by before anyone spoke up.  
  
“Why is it so quiet?”  
  
Matt scratched his chin before saying, “I thought you would sleep or something.”  
  
Keith rolled his eyes and made a “gimme” motion to Hunk, who was riding shotgun. He handed the aux cord to Keith who plugged it into his phone. Scrolling through his playlist, he settled on Summertime Sadness. A few lines in, Pidge decided to give their input.  
  
“I’m gonna bet this song is what made you gay.”  
  
Keith nodded. “One hundred percent.”  
  
The teens danced along to Lana’s voice, Keith especially. Matt hit the whip and smashed that mother fucking like button.  
  
During the second verse, Matt turned around when he reached a stoplight. “So, this song really turned you gay?”  
  
Keith stopped bobbing his head to answer. “Pretty much. I listened to the song on repeat when it came out.”  
  
Matt nodded and turned back around.  
  
The song was coming to an end, and Keith wasn’t sure what to do. He shuffled through his angsty brain and settled on a song that would remind everyone of a certain video.  
  
Everyone was silent while the song played.  
  
“Is that ‘Freak on a Leash’ by _Korn_?”  
  
A soft "yeah" is the only thing that left Keith.

Aside from God.

 

\--

 

Matt pulled up to a run-down arcade.  
  
Keith’s never been a huge fan of arcade games, but he was willing to give it a shot.  
  
The inside reeked of virgin and regular Cheetos.  
  
Keith muttered that under his breath and it seemed as though Matt heard it.  
  
“Reeks of you, huh?”  
  
“Fuck you.”  
  
They both laughed and walked to the counter. They ordered drinks and made a beeline for the games.  
  
It was mostly filled with retro arcade games, such as Pac-Man, Donkey Kong, and Dig Dug. Hunk went to play Donkey Kong, Pidge to Space Invaders, Matt to Metal Slug, and Keith...  
  
Stood there.  
  
He didn’t want to go for something basic, as there were a few other people there, but he didn’t want to play something he didn’t know anything about.  
  
Mountain Dew in hand, Keith paced around the arcade. He was growing more and more anxious by the second.  
  
After his fifty-seventh lap around the arcade, his eyes settled on a game.  
  
“Mad Aliens,” he muttered to himself, wonder written across his face.  
  
Settling in front of the screen, Keith began playing. He was enraptured by it for so long, he didn’t see the others approach him.  
  
“Keith fucking Kogane, we are going to play DDR.”  
  
Keith jerked when he heard Matt’s voice, not used to being surprised by him. He died, and he wasn’t even close to the high score.  
  
Keith was pissed.  
  
He begrudgingly followed the others to the machine. It was the only thing in the arcade that didn’t seem dusty. Everyone gathered into a circle.  
  
“Obviously I’m going last since I’ll be the main boss,” Matt said, smirking and gesturing towards himself. “Alright, I’m thinking of a number between one and ten. Pidge, you start.”  
  
“Three.”  
  
“Seven.”  
  
“Nine.”  
  
Matt clapped his hands together. “The number was seven, so Keith and Hunk, you go first.”  
  
Keith groaned at the prospect of playing. He’s never actually played Dance Dance Revolution.  
  
The two got onto the platforms and were about to select a song before Matt intervened. He climbed up there with them and chose “Handle Your Business”.  
  
The song started.  
  
It wasn’t too hard, Keith realized. He quickly got the hang of it and left Hunk in the dust.  
  
Keith could hear the Siblings™ cheering them on.  
  
“Who are you rooting for?” Hunk asked, tripping slightly.  
  
“Whosoever winning!” came Pidge’s reply.  
  
The two huffed a laugh when the song ended. They were both panting slightly when they looked at their scores.  
  
“Looks like you won,” Hunk said, clapping Keith on the back.  
  
“Hell yeah, I did.”  
  
Hunk stepped off, while Pidge stepped up.  
  
“Let’s go emo boy.”  
  
Keith gave them a side glance and began picking a song.

 

\--

  
  
“Pidge, we can’t pick something on expert.”  
  
“Quit your whining, we’re doing this,” they reached over and held Keith back. He grunted and turned to Matt.  
  
Matt stepped up once again and not-so-kindly explained to them both that _he_ was doing it on expert.  
  
Pidge huffed and went to choose something else. They settled on something not as hard as they were planning, but it got Keith sweating.  
  
Keith looked over and raised a brow. Pidge was holding onto the bar in the back.  
  
“Amateurs,” Matt muttered under his breath.  
  
After the song ended they looked at their scores. Pidge managed to finish but didn’t quite make it.  
  
It was obvious they were angry if them stomping off was any indication.  
  
Matt stepped up to the challenge.  
  
He smirked at Keith and began choosing another song. He landed on “High School Love”. He turned and gave a devilish grin.  
  
“Good luck, emo boy.”

 

\--

  
Keith was capital F fucked.  
  
How can someone, someone who is mortal, mind you, beat this goddamn song?  
  
They weren’t even past the first stage before Keith tripped over his two left feet.  
  
“Gettin’ scared, short stack?”  
  
“Condescending mong,” Keith shot back.  
  
Matt huffed out a laugh and perfectly moved his goddamn left foot onto the arrow.  
  
A collection of “Hell yeah!” and “Beat him up!” rang out through the dancing, with a small “where’s the hot sauce?” joining.  
  
Keith went through his life bit by bit, wondering where it all went wrong. His inner monologue started with “It all started when my mother left me”.  
  
“Oh, oh, ooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh you can suck my balls, Keith!”  
  
Keith stopped his monologue at the time when he microwaved peeps in eighth grade. He looked at the screen and noticed that Matt’s score was significantly higher.  
  
So all in all, he was pissed.  
  
Stepping off the platform, he was greeted with clapping and cheering. Not at him, but whatever.  
  
Matt smiled and clapped him on the back. “You did good, man. Just try a bit harder next time.”  
  
Keith nodded and followed the others outside. He pulled out his phone and looked at the time.  
  
“It’s only 2:27, what the fluck.”  
  
Matt paused from stepping into his car to regard Keith. “Did you just say fluck.”  
  
Keith sighed and climbed into the back. “Shut up, you slimy rectum waffle.”

 

\--

  
“Back at it again at Krispy Kreme.”  
  
“Matt shut the hell up.”  
  
Matt scowled and led the others into the shop. None of them had that much money left, but by god was Keith gonna get that damn coffee.  
  
While the others found a table Keith went to order. “I will take one coffee, black, and that’s it.”  
  
The cashier nodded and rang up his order. Getting his coffee, he went to find the others.  
  
Doing whatever the hell that is.  
  
“Keith, come be my second in command in my army of darkness,” Matt said purposely deepening his voice.  
  
Sitting down, he began drinking his coffee. “Could you guys keep it down? People are staring.” he paused to take a sip. “And I would like to be home before four to sleep a little bit, so after this, we’re leaving.”  
  
“Is that a challenge, Kogane?”  
  
Keith looked up to find Matt staring at him. Despite feeling uncomfortable under his gaze, Keith held his ground. “No, it isn’t. I want to be awake to actually watch Allura’s play tomorrow.”  
  
Pidge yelled out a loud “shit!” and leaned back in their chair. “I completely forgot about that.”  
  
Matt stopped staring to look at Pidge. “Who’s Allura?”  
  
“Shiro’s girlfriend.”  
  
“Oh.”  
  
“Yeah, we need to go,” Pidge said in a hurry. “Matt, get your fatass up. Let’s go.”  
  
In the midst of the small moment of chaos, Keith somehow managed to finish his coffee. Quickly throwing it away, he followed to the others back to the car.  
  
Actually flinging himself in, Pidge followed. Matt started up the engine and drove off. He glanced back at Pidge. “You tryna’ be responsible?”  
  
“I just don’t want Keith mad at me again.”  
  
Matt huffed and turned back around. He aggressively turned on the radio and went to the country station.  
  
“Are you implying that I need to kill myself?” Keith asked.  
  
“Possibly.”

 

\--

  
_Thank God I didn’t lock the window._  
  
If Keith had to go through the front door, he would’ve flung himself off the roof.  
  
The others were already gone, and he just had to quickly get inside without alerting his older brother.  
  
He crept in, slowly shutting and locking his window afterward. He slipped out of his clothes and got in his bed.  
  
His head barely hit the pillow before he heard a light turn on.  
  
“Welcome back, Keith.”  
  
Keith almost cried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> reason 1: i was reading house of hades and nico, my emo bby boy, is gay. then i find out he eventually gets a boyfriend. i fucking love nico and if any of you dont you can meet me in the pits
> 
> reason 2: the season 3 trailer for snk came out and first of all, levi yelling. second of all, levis 'nut' face. third of all, whomst gave erwin the goddamn right to shave????? fourth of all, mikasa replaces levi?? like whats going on there? is she gonna fight them by herself or is levi there, just not in the trailer????


	16. The King of Jacking Off

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys
> 
> i dont even have a real excuse except i was procrastinating
> 
> um yeah and in case you havent noticed i changed the title because send for all your absent lovers things doesnt really fit the story??? ya know????
> 
> um anyways enjoy

Lolling his head back, Keith groaned.  
  
“Sneaking out? Really, Keith?”  
  
Shiro insisted on scolding him that morning. It didn’t help that Keith could barely keep his eyes open. He was in the middle of slipping some socks on when Shiro came in, and he hasn’t shut up since.  
  
He groaned as Shiro restated the issue for the umpteenth time. Grabbing his bag, he sped off, hoping to get as far away as possible from his older brother.  
  
“-and don’t you _dare_ run away from me!”   
  
Keith looked back to see Shiro jogging up to him. He forgot to realize that he wasn’t very tall, especially compared to his brother.  
  
He breathed in and out repeatedly, just so he wouldn’t smack a bitch. He slowed down so it would take less than three seconds for Shiro to catch up.  
  
“Running from me?” Shiro asked. “How mature of you.”  
  
If Keith could convey one emotion for the rest of his life, it would more than likely be annoyance.  
  
Shiro, the ever-annoying walnut, chided him all the way to school. It wouldn’t be that bad, really, but Keith left his phone in Matt’s car. If he wasn’t so forgetful, he would be not-so-subtlety silencing Shiro with the sound of his music.   
  
Looking up from his shoes, Keith saw the school. He didn’t realize that his inner monologue would come in handy in situations like this.   
  
His eyes scanned the perimeter, hoping to spot his friends. When he did, he almost ran towards them, forgetful of Shiro.  
  
He waved at the group, trying to grab their attention. They looked up and nodded.   
  
Only panting slightly, he huddled in the group. He quickly explained the situation he has with Shiro, who was stopped by a freshman. They promptly huddled away, trying not to draw too much attention to themselves, it was difficult when Matt was holding a brightly colored science project.  
  
They were by the pavilion before anyone spoke.   
  
“Well, shit man,” Matt said as he scratched the back of his neck. “I didn’t think he would find out. We tried to stay quiet.”  
  
“Shiro would’ve found out eventually, so don’t sweat it.”  
  
Matt nodded but still looked a bit guilty. They started talking about how if they were going to sneak out, to make sure they know for a fact that Shiro was asleep. Pidge suggested they just drug him, but Keith quickly put that thought to a stop.  
  
They agreed that they should hold off on going out late until everything blew over.  
  
“It’ll be easier during summer,” Keith said. “He’s just mad because it’s a school night, and today’s Allura’s play.”  
  
Hunk laughed a bit. “Are you sure he’s your brother? And not your dad?”  
  
Keith shrugged, as he was at a loss for an answer.  
  
As the group talked about Kanye, and how they can forget about voting for him, Keith kept glancing back to see if Shiro was watching. He could see him looking around and got irritated the more he watched.  
  
Everyone seemed to notice, as they turned their attention towards him.  
  
Pidge pushed up their glasses. “Hey, uh, what’s got ya in a fuss?”  
  
“He treats me like a fucking child,” Keith stomped his foot. “I’m not five years old, and it’s not as if he wasn’t doing shit like this when he was younger,” Keith gestured around widely.  
  
“I mean, we could, and I’m not saying we have to,” he gave the others an impish grin. “We could take Keith out and do some uh, “rebellious” things.”  
  
“And what would those “rebellious” things entail?”  
  
Hearing the plans Matt had for the others sounded terrifying, so of course, they were in. Most of the plans were on the cusp of being illegal, while others could land them in a jail cell.  
  
“-and when Lance gets her, he can join us too. He seems like the kinda guy that would like to fuck around.”  
  
_Lance._  
  
Keith had forgotten about Lance.  
  
Immediately, he started getting worried. Lance could find him to be annoying, or ugly, or would hate him because he likes dick. Endless possibilities as to why Lance would find him revolting flooded through Keith’s mind.  
  
He was so caught up he didn’t notice everyone’s attention went to him again.  
  
“You’re getting that look, what’s going on?”  
  
Keith blinked stupidly and shook his head. “Nothing, I was just thinking of how livid Shiro would be if he found out.”  
  
“Then let’s do this,” Matt gave the group a knowing look. “It’s sorta like what happened with 9/11. A lot of cartoons were showing what would happen so the public kinda knew it was coming, but just didn’t realize it.”  
  
“Matt, we don’t want to hear about your stupid 9/11 theories,” Pidge groaned.  
  
“I am speaking anyways, we do smaller stunts. Maybe you come home and it’s late, or you come back with second piercings, or something else that’s small and not such a big deal.”  
  
The more Keith thought about it, the more it made sense.   
  
As he was beginning to question what the fuck Matt watches at home, he neglected to look behind him to see Shiro calmly walking to them. The look of horror on Keith’s face was enough for the others to book it.  
  
“Don’t you run from me!” Shiro yelled as he chases the sophomores around campus. The only time they got a break was when the bell rang.  
  
Running to class probably wasn’t the best idea, but everyone else was running, so why not?  
  
Tripping lightly, he stopped and doubled-over in front of the literacy classroom. Straightening his back and sighing, he made his way in.

 

\--

  
The day went to shit as soon as he set foot in that classroom.  
  
Mr. G was sitting in his chair, scowling while he shuffled the papers. Keith groaned inwardly and shuffled towards his desk.  
  
Pidge made it there before he did, which in hindsight he shouldn’t have been surprised.  
  
Sitting down, he waited as the students trickled in. Mr. G shut the door before making his way around the class to hand out the letters.   
  
Once receiving his letter, Keith began reading.  
  
_My dearest, Kweef_  
  
_I’m super heckin’ excited to come see you guys. Especially Matt. Pidge told me you guys got in trouble, but wouldn’t tell me anything. Care to tell me what’s up?_  
 _So how’ve ya been? Still a furry? How’s the sex life?_  
  
_Your man,_  
 _Lance McClain_  
  
Keith smiled despite being slightly embarrassed. He was happy to hear from Lance, but he was still worried. Lance didn’t seem to be the type of guy that liked Keith.  
  
After sulking for a good fifteen minutes, he decided to write back.  
  
_Dear Lance,_  
  
_I’m happy too, but don’t be disappointed when you find out we’re all losers. As for the trouble, I snuck out with the others and Shiro found out._  
 _And I’m good, but I’m not a furry. And unlike you, self-proclaimed sex god, I am still a virgin._  
  
_Sincerely,_  
 _Keith_  
  
He read it over at least ten times, wondering if it was too short. Lance didn’t give him much room to say anything, as he asked a few questions and moved on.   
  
He looked up at Mr. G to see if he was listening or even sleeping. He wasn’t paying attention, so Keith leaned over and tapped Pidge’s paper.  
  
They looked up in annoyance. “Keith, I swear to god, I already know how gay you are.”  
  
“That’s not what I was gonna ask!”  
  
“Well, what was it then?”  
  
“Nothing. Just trying to strike up a conversation.”  
  
Pidge groaned and continued writing.  
  
Keith leaned back and stared at the clock. They still had ten minutes, and he was ready to go. Mr. G, the ever annoying twat that he is, decided to waltz his candy ass up to Keith.   
  
He crouched down and turned his head, making Keith uncomfortable. His sweat covered forehead and mediocre comb-over were enough to make Keith want to turn his head.  
  
“What’re you writing there?”  
  
“I-I’m writing to my pen pal.”  
  
“Ah, how nice, may I read it?”  
  
Keith nodded and handed him the paper. Mr. G looked it over and handed it back.  
  
“This is awfully short, you know? Maybe you should write some more?”  
  
“I’ll get on it, sir.”  
  
Mr. G nodded and began his journey of forever being the most hated teacher. Keith sighed and looked at the clock again. Five minutes left and he was ready to go.  
  
“You’re such a suck up,” Pidge scoffed.  
  
“What do want me to say? ‘Fuck off you ignorant baby boomer cousin fucking gun loving hypocritical twat’?”  
  
Pidge shrugged and went back to writing. Knowing what he said was slightly loud, Keith looked back and felt relieved that Mr. G wasn’t paying attention.  
  
The ringing of the bell was like Jesus himself coming down from the heavens to slap the nonsense outta Kanye.

 

\--

  
Lunch was always interesting.  
  
Hunk made him some good old-fashioned spaghetti. Keith of course, ate it like a starving man. He skipped breakfast to stay in his room until the last minute, just to avoid Shiro. They ate silently, with Keith moaning every once in a while.  
  
Pidge choked. “Isn’t Allura’s play today?”  
  
“Um,” Keith paused to think. “Uh yeah. Yeah, it is.”  
  
“Is Shiro gonna prevent you from going?”  
  
Keith shook his head. Pidge drank some of their milk before saying, “You know, you never actually told us what the play was about.”  
  
“Macbeth.”  
  
“Oh.”  
  
To Keith, Pidge looked a bit sad. He wasn’t real big on Shakespeare, something his teachers have ruined for him. But Pidge was smart, so perhaps they knew about the story.  
  
Noticing Keith’s confusion, Pidge gave a summary of the play.  
  
“It has to do with a general and witches. Macbeth-”  
  
“That’s it, I’m out,” Keith said as he stood up. “I refuse to hear about a damn play with witches.”  
  
Before Pidge could stop him, Keith was already out the cafeteria.  
  
He ended up in the library, and it would be an understatement to think that Ms. Reese wasn’t terrifying. She looked a bit more “dead” today. In fact, Keith was worried she was dead since her eyes looked glazed over. He slowly crept passed her, as it was a possibility she was asleep.  
  
He stopped when he reached the lounging area, plopping himself onto a bean bag. He brought his hands up to his face and sighed. He shouldn’t even be surprised, Shakespeare sounded pretty kinky. Maybe he was a bit fed up with everything because of Shiro’s overreaction. Keith didn’t even sleep that often.  
  
Keith heard a few people come in and even spared him a glance before going back to their task. He sat in that worn out bean bag for a few more minutes before making his way out. He caught the eyes of someone that looked familiar, but he decided not to dwell on it.   
  
He went back to the lunchroom to get his bag, as he forgot it. Pidge and Hunk gave him a confused stare before leaving as well.

 

\--

  
“Can you fucking not?”  
  
Chemistry never failed to annoy Keith. He didn’t mind the subject in itself, but the people there is what _really_ got on his nerve.  
  
The impending summer break was enough to bring the frustrated teenagers to a frenzy. Mr. Peters left the class to use the bathroom, something that will no doubt make him regret his chosen career.  
  
At this point in time, a chair flew by Keith’s head. He didn’t even flinch, as this was the third time in a row. Setting down his chemicals, he turned and yelled at the guy who was being a dick.  
  
He tried to follow along on the instructions, really he did. But it was hard when there was a constant shuffling of kids copying the dances in fortite.  
  
After hearing someone scream again, Keith had enough.  
  
He sat down the beaker he was holding and was about to track down Mr. Peters before a certain someone made his way over.  
  
“Say, Keith,” Lotor said, leaning on the table. “Would you happen to have a charger I can borrow?”  
  
“I doubt we have the same phone,” Keith sighed. “And even if we did Mr. Peters will be here any minute. We’re not supposed to be on our phones.”  
  
“Hm, I suppose not.”  
  
He left Keith alone and went back to his friend group. He picked up the instructions and read them over again, just to make sure he was doing everything right. Picking up the beaker again, he went to work.  
  
And then something spilled on him.  
  
It didn’t hurt initially, but looking at his skin start to blister is what got it going. Cursing, he looked at the guy who was just surprised.  
  
“Hey, man. Look, it was an accident!”  
  
Keith didn’t even let him finish before rushing to the sink. He ran cold water on his hand just as the teacher walked in. Mr. Peters went to Keith as well, probably just to see what he was doing.   
  
“Hey, Keith, what are you do- oh my god.”  
  
“Yeah,” Keith muttered painfully. The water numbed the pain only a little. Mr. Peters grabbed his hand and examined it. He said it wasn't serious, and to just keep running it under some water.  
  
To put it simply, Keith was incredibly pissed off.

 

\--

  
Shiro didn’t say anything to Keith when they went home.  
  
It was a relief, but Keith was wondering why they were going home.  
  
“The play doesn’t start until later.”  
  
Keith nodded and followed Shiro to their apartment.  
  
Kicking off his shoes, he took a seat on the couch. He grabbed the remote and turned on the t.v., just to see his favorite bitches.  
  
Just kidding, Keith’s gay.  
  
Shiro sat down next to him and turned off the t .v. Keith was going to protest before Shiro cut him off. “Just let me speak, and we’ll be done.”  
  
Keith huffed and crossed his arms. He turned his body and crossed his legs to face Shiro. Waiting for the lecture only made Keith more irritated.  
  
“First off, I’m not mad.”  
  
That took Keith by surprise. I mean, don’t get him wrong, having someone say they’re not mad at him was a relief. But getting trailed for the entire day? With the other person looking pissed? It really does give the impression that they’re mad.  
  
“I’m just surprised, and a bit disappointed.”  
  
Now _that_ didn’t surprise Keith.  
  
“I get it, ya know? You’re a teenager-”  
  
“So are you.”  
  
“-don’t interrupt me.”  
  
Keith smiled slightly, despite the unneeded lecture.  
  
“You’re going through all this angst,” he gestured towards Keith’s clothes, “and you feel the need to rebel, so to speak. And it’s fine, ya know? Just leave a note next time or something, okay?”  
  
There was a pregnant pause.  
  
“You’re saying I can do whatever I want.”  
  
The amount of disappointment radiating from Shiro was enough to replace the stale air in the room.

 

\--

  
“To bed, to bed! there's knocking at the gate: come, come, come, come, give me your hand. What's done cannot be undone.--To bed, to bed, to bed!”  
  
Allura made a great lady.  
  
Not lady as in, a female, but as in Lady Macbeth.  
  
Keith was sandwiched between Hunk and Matt, watching Allura act like her life depended on it. He knew how it ended, as Pidge gave him an earful on the drive back to school.  
  
He couldn’t help but think that the Lady was the villain instead.  
  
Strange, really, for Keith to actually _think_.  
  
Focusing on the play was difficult enough, without the constant whispering being done by the others.  
  
“Keith, hey, hey Keith.”  
  
Keith closed his eyes and counted to ten before looking to his left. Matt was grinning wildly.  
  
“Pidge said this thing’s almost over. Ask your brother if we can go out tonight.”  
  
Keith leaned over Hunk and started whispering to Shiro. “Hey, when I ask you this, say no, okay?”  
  
Shiro nodded.  
  
“Can I go out to eat with my friends.”  
  
“No.”  
  
Keith leaned back and faced Matt. “He said no.”  
  
Matt pouted and turned back in his seat.   
  
The play went on, with Lady Macbeth leaving the scene to do whatever it is that villians did back in those days. Macduff was a common occurrence, which Keith didn’t really like. He wasn’t the hugest fan of him, but this is Shakespeare. This shit can’t be enjoyed without heartache.  
  
Keith had trouble following along during the last two scenes, because of Matt and Pidge arguing over how to pronounce almond.   
  
With Malcolm finishing us off with his poetic bullshit, the crowd gave them an applause. The group exited quickly after that, leaving Keith with Shiro. Said man went to get Allura, so Keith had to stay behind.   
  
He watched the crowds leave with disdain. He wanted to go home and get to bed because despite him saying he wasn’t tired, he was fucking tired.  
  
Shiro and Allura came out laughing and motioned for Keith to follow. He didn’t bother listening in on their conversation as it was just them discussing the play. Shiro greeted Allura’s parents and bid them goodbye, with Keith getting a handshake.  
  
The walk back was silent, something the two brothers were grateful for. The apartment was left dark as they didn’t want to bother adjusting their eyes.  
  
Keith looked over at Shiro. “Next time, make sure you wash your face.”  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
Keith went into the kitchen and grabbed a paper towel. “You have lipstick on your face, dumbass.”  
  
Shiro wiped it off, and despite the dark, Keith could tell he was embarrassed. “Thank for telling me. Go to bed, little boy.”  
  
Keith chuckled and went up the stairs. He opened his bedroom door and gave a sigh of relief. He shut it quietly before stripping down to his boxers. He climbed into bed and was fast asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE YOURE NOT MY TYPE


	17. #fuckcandy20gayteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am so fucking sorry guys. i already have an endgame for this fic and i was trying to work towards it, but i didnt know how to get there with this chapter, so i just kinda lost motivation and everything
> 
> and i had a project that was due on today and the teacher announced the project on thursday, and i didnt exactly have a large window of time
> 
> ill try to not wait more than 7+ days
> 
> sorry

“Okay guys, just hear me out,” Matt said, “since we’ve already established that Shiro’s cool with us going out at night we should go break into shit.”  
  
Keith knew Matt was pretty wild, but not _this_ wild.  
  
“So, what? We just pull a Buzzfeed Unsolved and chill at an asylum?”  
  
“That's the plan, my dear boy.”  
  
Pidge shook their head and sighed. “We don’t even know where any asylums are.”  
  
Matt paused to consider this for a moment. “There’s one two towns over.”  
  
_“No.”_  
  
The two siblings argued about their future nighttime endeavors.  
  
Before violence could be involved, Hunk stepped in. “I don’t think so. I heard from some other kids that one of the math teachers, Mrs. Davis” -he paused to cough- “was going to give out a lot of homework.”  
  
“Not only that,” Keith cut in, “I already have some homework to do, and we need to let the Shiro situation cool over for a bit.”  
  
The group paused to consider this.  
  
“But Keith, school’s gonna be over in what? A few days? And then your boyfriend-“  
  
“He’s _not_ my boyfriend.”  
  
“-is gonna come here to hang out. I’m not sure how Shiro would feel if some random guy came along and just started hanging out with his younger brother.”  
  
Matt was right, for once. But Keith needed to finish that schoolwork, if not, he’ll be stuck at school for the summer. He was not going to risk missing out on Lance just because he decided to dick around with his friends.  
  
“I’m gonna have to decline.”  
  
Matt sighed loudly and took a sip of his chocolate milk, courtesy of the 7/11 down the street. Keith didn’t even want to argue with him about why he couldn’t until his work was done, as it was obvious. Work now, fucking around later.  
  
Simple concept for a simple mind.  
  
Before Pidge could slap their brother, a boy ran up to Hunk.  
  
“Hey man,” he said between pants. “So I noticed you haven’t been struggling in history, and I _need_ you to finish this reading guide for me, please. I’ll even pay!” He fished out his wallet to add on emphasis.  
  
While Hunk politely declined and began writing answers, Keith studied the kid’s face more closely.  
  
He snapped his finger. “You’re the guy who spilled that stuff on my hand.”  
  
The boy looked up in alarm and gave a meek smile. “Yeah, sorry about that.”  
  
Keith waved him off tapped his fingers on the table. He absentmindedly scanned his eyes across the pavilion. The grass was already beginning to yellow, as the summer sun was already out.  
  
“Keith? Hey buddy, the bell rang.”  
  
Keith snapped out of it to look at Hunk, who was waving him over. Not wanting to be late again, he raced after his friends.

 

\--

  
Seeing the teacher and not Mr. G was, quite frankly, one of the best days of Keith’s life. Despite her having an IQ lower than two, he was still excited to see her.  
  
“Hello, Keith!”  
  
Keith raised his hand and smiled awkwardly. He sat himself down beside Pidge who stifled their laughter.  
  
“What’s so funny?”  
  
“I knew you were awkward Keith but,” They couldn’t finish their sentence because of how hard they were laughing at his expense.  
  
“You’re a cunt, Pidge, ya know that?”  
  
Pidge smiled and shook their head. They turned around to receive their letter. Keith got his as well and psyched himself up to hear the slightly annoying inner voice that he gave to the boy who lives no-where near him.  
  
A.K.A., Lance McClain.  
  
_My Dearest, Kweef_  
  
_Alright man, I’m gonna be real with you. If you’re not at the airport on June 2, I refuse to binge eat hot Cheetos and watch Parks and Rec with you._  
_Make sure your friends and brother are gonna be there, too. I’ve been dying to meet them._  
_Style that mullet of yours too!_

_Your man,_

_Lance McClain_

  
Keith could only blink.  
  
The wait time for Lance wasn’t long, and he was slightly worried.  
  
When the fuck is he going to go get him?  
  
A flurry of questions ran through his mind before Pidge snapped him out of it.  
  
“Hey, Keith? Earth to Gay Boy? Calm down man, it’s just Lance.”  
  
“I’m fine man, fuck off.”  
  
Pidge their eyebrow and turned a bit to face Keith. They started waving their hands up and down and spoke in a high pitched voice. “Oh my god, it’s Lance “Big Dick” McClain.”  
  
“Don’t do that to Tom.”  
  
Pidge chuckled and turned around and began writing. Before Keith could begin writing as well, the teacher decided that would be the perfect time to make an announcement.  
  
“Okay, class! Since school is almost over, this will be the last letter you will be sending.” She said, looking around the room. “So make it count!”  
  
Keith stealthily looked over at the overly-colorful calender to look at the date. And according to the obnoxious red, June second would be in one week.  
  
_Fuck._  
  
We’re not gonna sugar coat it, Keith is terrible with people. If it took you this long to figure that out then I have to ask you how you have the capacity to read.  
  
Seven days is not enough time to mentally prepare himself. Seven and a half days? More than enough.  
  
Before slipping into his self-loathing monologue again, he went to write back.  
  
_Dear Lance,_  
  
_I don’t even know what time to pick you up, you dork. But yeah, I’ll be sure to see you there. I’ll bring my friends too._  
_This is the last letter I’m able to write to you, so I just want to get this all out there._  
_First of all, you are not going to lay a single finger on my Cheetos, alright? Those are sacred. Secondly, we are going to watch Parks and Rec **and** The Office. And be sure to bring fluffy socks, we’re going to slide on the floors like five-year-olds._  
  
_Can’t wait to see you,_  
_Keith Kogane_  
  
Keith leaned back and ran his fingers through his hair, sighing deeply. This was more than likely the longest letter he has ever written. Keith could feel his already massive intellect expanding.  
  
Yes, Keith has watched Rick and Morty.  
  
He looked over at Pidge, who was playing Candy Crush under their desk. The way they managed to beat each level without wanting to rip out their kidneys was mesmerizing.  
  
Keith was so absorbed in watching Pidge calmly play Candy Crush he didn't notice when the bell rang.

 

\--

  
“It baffles me as to how you can just,” he gestured his arms around wildly, “ _do_ that without flipping your shit!”  
  
“It’s called strategy, Keith, and it’s quite simple.”  
  
“What they mean by that is,” Hunk cut in, handing Keith some falafel, “you’re not exactly the _type_ when it comes to these sort of games. You’re better suited for things like that one penguin game you were playing on our free day!”  
  
“It’s called Penguin Diner, excuse you. It fast reflexes, attention to detail, and-”  
  
“It’s a flash game, Keith! Just admit that you can’t play Candy Crush!”  
  
Keith huffed and bit into his falafel. The taste almost calmed him down.  
  
Almost.  
  
“If you don’t teach me your ways I’m going to stay in the library until school’s out.”  
  
Hunk gasped. “Don’t you dare.”  
  
“I’ll do it, don’t test me.”  
  
“Keith, if you do that then so help me, I’ll-”  
  
Pidge smacked Hunk’s hand but slapped Keith’s face.  
  
“Now, if you’re both done being childish, we can actually eat.”  
  
Keith angrily chewed on his food, glaring as Pidge drank their milk. They pulled out their phone to play Candy Crush, _right in front of him._  
  
He would’ve scolded them, but he thought better of it. Pidge scared him, even if it was only slightly. There wasn’t a doubt in his mind that Pidge would wring his neck at the slightest discrepancy.  
  
Only the sounds of sexually frustrated teens yelling and Hunk coughing after swallowing wrong could be heard inside the lunchroom.  
  
And the slight jolt of fear evident on Keith’s face at the spoon that whizzed by his ear.  
  
“Well, guys,” Keith said as he wiped his mouth. He stood up and pushed the container towards Hunk. “It’s been fun, but I gotta slight feeling that Mrs. Mary will get my name right if I get there early. Au Revoir!”  
  
He saluted the two confused teens and left the lunchroom.

 

\--

  
Keith was a bit angry.  
  
He was getting fed up with a few things happening at the school. First with Mrs. Mary _refusing_ to call him by his name despite clearly knowing it. Mr. G stopping to chat and making him late for math. And worst of all:  
  
Lotor.  
  
He wasn’t really doing anything remotely annoying, but his presence just pissed him off. Watching him twirl his hair and sway his hips was infuriating to him.  
  
“Lotor, for once, can you please just do some work?”  
  
“Now why would I do that? You clearly know what you’re doing.”  
  
At this point, it was futile to try and argue with him. He only helped Keith when Mr. Peters was around, and even then it was only 40% of the time.  
  
“Okay, fine, whatever. I’ll do all the work, and you get a fourth of the credit.”  
  
“Fine by me, emo boy.”  
  
That comment is what _really_ got him going. Only his three friends and Lance were allowed to call him emo. He was going to tell him off, but unfortunately, Mr. Peters came by. And, it’s common law not to curse around teachers.  
  
He hurriedly walked to the back to get a bunsen burner, while still having a glare on his face. He didn’t notice it until others gave him a concerned look.  
  
He took a deep breath and tried to relax. He only had a few days left, and he didn’t want his memories to be filled with him constantly screaming “Fuck you” in his mind.  
  
Now calm, he walked back to his table and set the burner down. He tied his hair back put on a pair of goggles. He picked up the instructions and was surprised to find out: They could do whatever they want.  
  
Now, Keith wasn’t sure what to do. He could “accidentally” set something on fire, he could injure himself and not have to do anything for the rest of the week, or he could make something explode.  
  
He decided to just fuck everything up.  
  
He grabbed two chemicals that in no way should ever mix and dumped them together and mixed it into a frenzy. He stepped back from the table and got a face full of smoke.  
  
It was nice, not being able to see anything.  
  
The fire alarm went off and Mr. Peters ran to the door to stop anyone from leaving the room. Him being a chemistry teacher, he was used to accidents.  
  
Thankfully, he believed Keith when he lied about it being a mishap. He brushed it off and let everyone off for the day.  
  
Before leaving, Lotor stopped Keith by the door.  
  
“Ya know, you owe me one for not telling Mr. Peters that you did that by accident.”  
  
“Fuck off, you pompous slut jockey.”

 

\--

  
Instead of making dinner, Shiro decided to listen to a podcast. Which left Keith just his box of hot Cheetos.  
  
He sat on his bed, slowly eating his way through the fifth bag when he received a text.  
  
_Pidgeon:_  
_Stop being a thot_  
  
_Me:_  
_But being a thot is all I’ve ever known_  
  
He, unfortunately, did not get another text from Pidge, which made him huff. He didn’t want to spend every day by himself.  
  
He was sad.  
  
But that didn’t matter. He stripped down and opened his door slightly and yelled out, “EAT MY ASS, SHIROGANE!” and turned off the lights.  
  
He crawled under the covers and was about to close his eyes when he heard a rapping on his window. Without think, he rolled over and glared.  
  
“GO FUCK YOURSELF.”  
  
Little did he know that when he yelled those three words, he managed to wake up Candy, and received an earful about it from Shiro the next day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> um uh yeah so we'll be getting our man in the next chapter
> 
> and sorry if this seems rushed, its because it is
> 
> also magnus is a fucking god like sassing to literally every thing in sight? what a fat mood
> 
> also uncle rick out here giving us soME DAMN REPRESENTATION


	18. Oh No! My Appendix!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whats brackin guys
> 
> uuuhhh i still hate myself
> 
> and i used a big word
> 
> also its a really short chapter
> 
> sorry
> 
> and uh yeah thats about it

Keith was not expecting to find Matt bouncing on his lap.  
  
Not in that kinda way, you sick fuck.  
  
He was shaking Keith and yelling while simultaneously crushing Keith under his weight.  
  
“Keith, Keith, oh my God, we’re going to meet your boyfriend! C’mon!”  
  
“He’s not my boyfriend,” Keith mumbled. He nudged Matt to get off of him and yawned, stretching. He leaned up slowly and rubbed the gunk out of his eyes. He sniffled before saying, “Why are you here? More specifically, why are you here,”-he pointed down-”in my room?”  
  
“Great question, Keith! And great questions come great answers!” Matt flopped back on the bed and put his arms behind his head and sighed. “When you told me he liked memes, and not the ones that are outdated, I just couldn’t help myself.”  
  
Keith nodded and pushed Matt with his foot, who got the message and stood up. He told Keith to get ready quickly and left the room, thankfully shutting the door.  
  
Not wanting to upset Lance with his emo ways, Keith threw on a black tee and blue jeans. He decided not to pull his hair up, as it was always a pain to take down. He went into his bathroom between his and Shiro’s rooms and quickly washed his face and brushed his teeth.  
  
He came down the stairs and saw Hunk, braiding Matt’s hair.   
  
He didn’t question it, obviously.  
  
Walking into the kitchen, he opted for a small bowl of cereal, as he wasn’t exactly hungry. He sat through a small celebration by Hunk for eating breakfast.  
  
The small entryway was crowded with everyone trying to put on their shoes, especially if some of the people are on the floor.  
  
Thankfully, no one got injured going down the stairs.  
  
They piled into Matt’s car, squeezing together uncomfortably. Shiro took the wheel, with Keith riding shotgun. Matt, Pidge, and Hunk were in the back, and poor Pidge sat in the middle.  
  
They didn’t have to listen to any podcasts, but they tried to choose a song that everyone enjoyed.  
  
The playlist ended up having three songs.  
  
Given the outcome, they all opted to listen to their own music. Hunk listening to mostly Cavetown, Pidge listening to Daft Punk, and before Keith could put in his earbuds Shiro stopped him.  
  
He put a hand on Keith’s arm. “We need to talk.”  
  
The one sentence that could make Keith’s blood turn to ice.  
  
“About?”  
  
“Lance.”  
  
Keith sighed and sat his phone down. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes, counting to ten. When he finished, he opened his eyes and turned to Shiro, waiting for the inevitable lecture.  
  
“I don’t care if he is your boyfriend or not, you two are not staying alone together.”  
  
“Shiro-“  
  
“Uh-uh, let me finish. I don’t care if his freckles remind you of the stars or if you feel like getting anally probed by him, it’s not happening.”  
  
Keith’s cheeks were heating up. Shiro of all people should know that the only things that can probe Keith’s ass are aliens, not some boy from Cuba.  
  
He faced forward and put in his earbuds, cranking the music up all the way.

 

\--

  
Keith never realized how much he hated traffic until now.  
  
Thankfully, they left early, so they would still have time to pick up Lance. However, sitting and barely moving means listening to Matt screaming “99 Bottles of Beer”.  
  
Keith was ready to rip his hair out as soon as Matt hit 82 bottles.  
  
He was going to turn around and beat Matt with his shoe when Shiro saved the day.  
  
“Matt, could you please stop? It’s getting to be a bit annoying, but maybe we can do it later.”  
  
Matt stopped and shrugged, and started playing on his phone. Pidge reached up and turned on the radio, flipping through channels. They settled on an alternative station and sat back after threatening to sit on Matt’s head.  
  
They sat there, while Keith grew more and more anxious. He didn’t want to be late for the plane and miss Lance, while simultaneously giving him the impression that Keith was irresponsible.  
  
Not saying that he _is_ responsible.  
  
Currently, he had his feet propped up on the dashboard and was tapping his fingers while staring out the window. He sighed and sniffled and changed the tune of his taps. He turned to face forward and was delighted when they moved more than two inches.  
  
He put his feet down and straightened up when Shiro asked him to. Listening to the sounds of Thom lackadaisical vocals made Keith lethargic.  
  
He closed his eyes and pulled his feet up. He turned to his side and laid his head on the seatbelt.

 

\--

  
“Can you stop shaking me, please? I’m up.”  
  
Shiro was violently shaking Keith when they got to the airport, and he wasn’t here for it.  
  
Keith sluggishly opened the car door and stepped out, stretching after shutting it.   
  
He walked with the others into the airport, not too psyched about it.  
  
The place was huge, and not wanting another mall fiasco, Shiro made sure the teens stayed together.  
  
Keith pulled out his phone to check the time and realized that they had about twenty minutes until Lance’s plane arrived.  
  
That being said, they decided to go to the small McDonald’s and eat.  
  
With one of them being unsurprisingly wild, it was a challenge ordering a bit of food.  
  
They ate quickly, not wanting to be late, as the McDonald’s was far from where they would get Lance.  
  
After consuming enough nutrients, they power-walked across the airport. They weaved through crowds and a few times they ended up elbowing someone or got themselves elbowed.  
  
They sat to the left, Shiro taking a seat in a chair while the others sat on the floor. They got into a heated debate over whether or not it was yanny or laurel.  
  
Hearing the sound of the woman announcing the arrival made Keith want to cry and jump for joy.  
  
He sat up quickly and dusted off his shirt and pants. He jogged ahead of everyone and had to stop because of the people that were rushing in.  
  
Him being two feet tall, he had to stand on his toes to try to see the giant that was Lance McClain. As he was trying to find him, the others decided to catch up to him.  
  
The few remaining people were few, and then Keith saw him.  
  
The overly cocky bastard that was Lance McClain.  
  
He stood there for a second, and when Lance turned around, Keith’s breath stopped.  
  
“Take it all in, gay boy. Analyze those freckles like your _life_ depends on it,” Matt whispered.  
  
Keith couldn’t even get mad.  
  
Lance smiled and waved. He turned around and motioned for a group to follow him. He ran up to Keith and stood in front of him.  
  
“Well, it’s nice to meet the man behind the letters,” Lance chuckled. He stuck out his hand and said, “My name is Lance McClain, and it is an honor to meet you, Keith.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy fuck do i love lance mcclain


	19. Yeeting on Them Hoes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys, so uh yeah. this is it
> 
> now if you want to see me write seriously without as many jokes then wait because ill be writing a oneshot and another story, both will be in lances pov
> 
> also the [cunt](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sadtomatoboy/pseuds/sadtomatoboy) posted a oneshot and its really good so go read it
> 
> and i wont officially be taking a break from writing, im just gonna pace myself and not force myself to write
> 
> and im gonna hope that since ill try prewriting, the next two stories will arguably be better

Lance's family was huge. And Keith, being the antisocial little fuck that he was, had trouble keeping up.  
  
His mom was lively and friendly, and instead of giving him a handshake she hugged him; something he wasn’t used to. Lance also brought all his siblings. All 4739247 of them.  
  
Kidding, there’s only five of them.  
  
His dad was there as well, who was more down to earth and gave Keith a handshake.  
  
Keith managed to greet all of them without having a breakdown, and they began walking out of the airport while being bombarded with questions from Lance’s mom.  
  
The McClains had family waiting for them, and Keith was promised that after they were settled in, Lance would come to hang out with everyone.  
  
After being starstruck for about ten minutes straight, Keith meekly waved goodbye and got in the car. He sat in the passenger side and had to refrain himself from staring at Lance’s ass.  
  
Damn, he thicc.  
  
Matt rudely snapped him out of his reverie with a violent wave in his face. He turned toward Matt who was grinning madly and was about to slap him when Shiro stopped him by placing his hand on Keith’s chest. He pushed Keith back slightly and motioned for him to buckle his seatbelt, which he begrudgingly did.  
  
They sat there, with Keith wallowing in his newfound gay. He hadn’t really had a crush on anyone unless Brendon Urie counts.  
  
“Keith? My gaydar is going off like crazy, my man. You okay?”  
  
“How do you have a gaydar?”  
  
“I’m the big gay.” He leaned in close. “I can smell the homo emanating from your pores.”  
  
Keith managed to slap him before Shiro had him restrained.

 

\--

  
Pulling into the parking lot of the complex, the five of them got out of the car and attempted to walk up the stairs without alerting Candy’s many cats. They entered Keith and Shiro’s apartment and collapsed on the couch.  
  
They watched Shane Dawson videos, with Shiro wondering how a self-deprecating joke could cause a chorus of “mood”.  
  
“Guess who got a text,” Pidge mumbled as they pulled out their phone. Keith raised his head slightly to look at them.  
  
“That’s not really an accomplishment.”  
  
“It’s from Lance.”  
  
Keith sat up quickly and had to lay back down as vertigo hit him violently. He rubbed his eyes and blinked quickly twice, then he was able to sit up.  
  
“What’s it say?”  
  
“‘Done with packing. Meet @ the 7/11?’”  
  
“Let’s go. Now. Get up, get motivated.”  
  
Matt shushed him and raced to the door to put his shoes back on. Keith followed after him and was out the door quicker since he was wearing boots. He was almost down the stairs when Shiro, once again, stopped him.  
  
“You’ll trip. Walk.”  
  
Keith huffed and walked down as Matt raced past him. He grumbled and had to wait for everyone else to get down the stairs.  
  
Once on the ground, Shiro called Matt to come back, which he willingly obeyed. They had to walk for fifteen minutes, with Matt teasing Keith about being the Ultra Gay. The mundane sidewalks managed to calm Keith down with his gay panic attack.  
  
He didn’t realize that they were at the 7/11 until Lance came into view.  
  
He waved excitedly and came out of the store. He stopped out front and waited for them to near the entrance. He greeted them and motioned for them to go inside, winking at Keith.  
  
Fucking _winking._  
  
Keith blushed slightly and glared at his feet. The group walked in and began their raid. Hunk making a beeline to the snack section, grabbing some classic potato chips and walked his way to the candy aisle. Lance went to get a Slurpee after failing to engage in conversation with Shiro. The said man stood there, with his head in his hands sighing miserably. Keith and Pidge went to get some Monsters, Keith grabbing five of them while Pidge stared at him with concern.  
  
“I plan on binge watching The Office with Lance, and to do that I need to be up for a _long_ time,” Keith said. He hurriedly made his way to the register. He had to wait for the others, Pidge being the first one to appear. Following them came Lance and then Hunk, who had a Payday along with his chips. Matt came up, pretending that he forgot his wallet, which meant that Shiro had to pay.  
  
He gave the cashier the money and the teens walked out of the 7/11 with Keith forcing Matt to promise to pay Shiro back. Lance chuckled at the glare Keith threw Matt’s way.  
  
“We should go to the beach.”  
  
Keith looked up at Lance with confusion written across his face. “And why would we do that?”  
  
“I don’t know, you said you liked the beach. And, I want to do something you like.” He linked his arm with Keith’s, which caused him to blush furiously. Lance smiled at him slightly and continued walking, acting as if nothing had happened.  
  
The boardwalk had a multitude of people, mostly unsupervised kids. The six of them had to skirt around the smaller people to reach the end, where they began to walk to the beach.  
  
The sun was setting, and Matt decided to tell Keith it would be the perfect time to receive a kiss from his “prince charming”. Keith accordingly elbowed him in his side.  
  
Shiro breathed in the salt in the air and scrunched up his nose. “So, now what? We didn’t bring any swimsuits, and even then we don’t have any towels.”  
  
“I’m not saying we have to completely submerge ourselves in the water, we can just put our feet in it or something, unless,” he paused to reach in his pocket. “You would be so kind as to get us some towels from the gift shop?”  
  
“You mean to tell me you had money this whole time?” Shiro asked. He smacked away the offered money from Lance and mockingly glared at him. He begrudgingly followed the others after sighing and shaking his head.  
  
Lance motioned for the others to take off their shoes and roll up their pants. Pidge and Hunk didn’t have to, but the other three did.  
  
Keith haphazardly put his feet in the water. It was lukewarm, which he was grateful for. He was enjoying the small waves that washed over his feet when he heard someone running. He turned around just in time to sidestep Lance who was planning on pushing him. Lance tripped and fell, getting up in time to keep from getting completely wet.  
  
“Hey! That was mean!”  
  
Was it possible for someone to physically convey “D:”?  
  
“Sorry, you were comin’ after me, so I panicked and moved out of the way.”  
  
“That was extremely rude. The least you could’ve done was catch me.” He stood up and squeezed his shirt to get the water out of it.  
  
Keith blushed at the thought of holding Lance, an actual god.  
  
After being frozen for a few moments, Keith rolled his eyes and began walking off. Lance stopped wringing his shirt and ran after him. “Don’t be like that. I was only joking! And you know, this place seems great for a walk.”  
  
Keith nodded and slowed down for Lance to get beside him. They began playing twenty questions, starting with the most important one of all.  
  
“Y’all mind if I hit that t-pose?”  
  
Keith struggled to keep from rolling his eyes. He nodded, and let Lance sing the Halo theme. Matt heard it and ran over to join him. Pidge came along too, with Hunk who had his phone out, ready to take a picture.  
  
“Keith! Join us!” Lance yelled, smiling. Keith shrugged and stuck his hands out at both sides and began singing. The snap of the camera made Matt’s voice crack.  
  
“Is that a white supremacist symbol?” Shiro asked. Lance looked up at him with confusion.  
  
“You’re joking, right?”  
  
“Of course I’m joking, God.”  
  
Lance eyed him and huffed. He moved his fingers into a peace sign and pointed it to his eyes and then to Shiro's, squinting slightly.  
  
Keith looked back at Shiro who looked confused before continuing on his walk with Lance.  
  
Finally caught up with Lance’s long ass legs, he had to stop to roll up his pants again.  
  
“So, how about we resume our twenty questions?” Lance asked.  
  
“Why not?”  
  
Lance hummed and tapped his chin. He grinned and looked over at Keith, who was staring at him. “What’s your favorite animal?”  
  
“Hippopotamus,” Keith said a bit too quickly. Lance raised his eyebrows and chuckled softly, causing Keith’s heart to go “fjalkhgeoiajghakh!!!!!!”. Lance smiled a bit before going back to thinking. Keith took that time to stare at Lance. He probably noticed it, as he blushed and looked away.  
  
“What’s yours?” Keith asked.  
  
“Sharks.”  
  
Keith looked at him with confusion. He didn’t find sharks to be the cutest, but whatever man.  
  
“What’s your wallpaper on your phone?”  
  
Keith got really quiet. “I still have the default wallpapers.”  
  
Lance stopped and closed his eyes. He breathed in deeply and shook his head. He turned to Keith with pain in his eyes and said, “You disgust me.”  
  
“Me too.”  
  
Lance shook his head again and said he had wallpapers of sharks, still defending them. Keith nodded and suggested they go sit on the cliff. Lance agreed and followed Keith.  
  
The small cliff reminded Keith of his emo ways, and he had to cringe slightly at the memory.  
  
They stopped at the edge and sat down, both being careful not to fall off. They continued playing twenty questions, ranging from what their favorite color was to which celebrity would they die for. Then Lance got really quiet.  
  
“Hey, what’s wrong?” Keith asked. Lance just looked at him and scratched the nape of his neck.  
  
“There’s a specific question I want to ask you, but I’m not sure how you’ll react.”  
  
“Go ahead and ask. It won’t bother me.”  
  
“Okay, here goes.” Lance sucked in a breath and breathed out slowly. He turned his full body to Keith before speaking. “Would you like to go to the aquarium with me?”  
  
“Uh yeah, sure. I know Hunk likes animals, and he and Pidge are both smart so maybe they’ll enjoy getting some extra knowledge. I’m not sure about Matt and Shiro though, so I’ll-”  
  
“Keith,” Lance interrupted. Keith stopped talking to look at him. “Not with them, I mean just the two of us. Like a date.”

 

\--

  
“What do you think they’re talking about?” Pidge asked. Hunk stopped kicking his feet in the sand to look at them.  
  
“I don’t know, but Keith’s face looks kind of panicky.”  
  
Matt came up and looked to the cliff, where Keith stood abruptly. “Maybe Lance called him The Small Gay.”  
  
Shiro rolled his eyes before scrunching his eyebrows in confusion. He pointed to the cliff and made a comment on why Keith was running. The others noticed it too.  
  
“Why is he already sweating?” Matt asked. Shiro shrugged and ran over to put his shoes on. Everyone else followed him. They ran up the stairs to try to catch up to Keith, with Lance running behind him. Now Keith was miraculously ahead of the group, despite panting like a dog in heat. Lance was right behind him though, and he looked panicky as well, if not more so.  
  
Shiro was making a nice third place, trying to reach Lance to more than likely kick his shit in.  
  
Keith, despite almost collapsing, made it inside the house before anyone else. He didn’t shut the door amidst his panic and instead ran to his room. Shiro pushed himself in front of Lance to stop him from running up the stairs. He grabbed Lance by the shirt and threw him onto the couch. The others finally caught up and collapsed into the doorway.  
  
“What the hell did you do?” Shiro asked angrily. Lance lifted himself into a sitting position before speaking.  
  
“I asked him if he wanted to go on a date, and then he yote my heart into the ocean.”  
  
“You fucking walnut,” Pidge said. They stood up from the entryway and rubbed their glasses. “You can’t just ask him like that, he’s a soft boy™. You should’ve asked him in the form of a bag of hot Cheetos.”  
  
“How was I supposed to know that?” Lance yelled. Shiro slapped his face and looked defeated. He walked over and grabbed Lance’s arm.  
  
“You go up there and fix whatever it is you caused, do you understand me?”  
  
Lance could only nod before being harshly shoved in the direction of the stairs. He walked up to them calmly, to try not to freak Keith out. Once reaching Keith’s door, he knocked softly. “Hey, Keith? Can I come in please?”  
  
He heard shuffling before the door unlocked. He didn’t go in yet, waiting for the “ok”. After hearing it, he opened the door slowly to see Keith sitting on the floor with his back to him. Lance walked forward calmly and asked if he could shut the door. Keith nodded only slightly. Lance took tentative steps toward the raven-haired emo. He stopped in front of him to see Keith’s face slightly red and downcast.  
  
Sitting down, he turned to Keith. “Can we talk?” he asked. Keith nodded and looked at him. Lance paused before considering his words. “I’m sorry if that was a bit much for you. I just thought since, ya know, our “friendship” was going strong, and you being gay, we could get together?” Lance said nervously. “Wow, that doesn’t sound as good when you put it like that, huh?” Lance laughed slightly. Keith smiled and huffed air through his nose as if reading a text post.  
  
“Lance,” Keith started. “I would love to go out with you, really, I do, but I’m not sure if you would like to put up with someone who still cries over the g note and plays visual novels at ungodly hours of the morning. I know I wouldn’t.”  
  
Lance paused before slowly taking Keith’s hands in his. “That sounds like exactly what I want in a person. Although we may have to do something about your knife obsession.”  
  
Keith gasped and glared with no malice. Lance laughed lowly. “So will you, Queef Cocaine, go the aquarium with me?”  
  
Keith smiled. “I would love to.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hhhhhhnnnnnnnnggggggggggg goodbye thanks for reading ily
> 
> and season 6 really fucked with me. i wont be going into it, but i feel bad for lance 
> 
> and i watched infinity war since it didnt come out in my town until like a month after its initial release and guys????????? i dont??????????? i cant????????? comprehend??????????? how fucking sad???????? i am??????????
> 
> also fun fact: deadpool owns my ass


End file.
